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Case Number 26255: Small Claims Court

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Deadly Swarm

Lionsgate // 2003 // 86 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // September 13th, 2013

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All Rise...

Judge David Johnson succumbed to a deadly swarm of the munchies and ate an entire canned ham.

The Charge

If you see them, it's too late.

The Case

Deep in the jungles of Guatemala, a researcher desperate to combat the disease that afflicts his wife turns to the one thing that holds the most promise: terrifying killer wasps. Thanks some accommodating witch doctors, he tracks down the hives and loads them up for the journey stateside. Unfortunately for him and his hired part-timers, the truck overturns and the wasps break free, stinging the crap out of anyone hapless enough to get in their way.

But no worry: the man voted Most Smoldering Etymologist of 2012 is on the case. Daniel Lang's (Shane Brolly) skills as an insect wrangler are matched only by the impressive grooming of his five o'clock shadow. He will need to call upon all of his talents, scientific, fashion and otherwise to find a solution to the impending winged doom. Thankfully, he has a comrade in his noble quest: a female investigative journalist, equally as good-lucking and, even better, more than willing to murder unsuspecting villains with a flamethrower.

I have some great news. Deadly Swarm just might be the most horrifying movie some of you will ever see. Granted, it's a relatively narrow demographic, but rest assured, if you're the type of person who trembles at the sight of punctuation and finds the thought of killer flying dots to be utterly petrifying, Deadly Swarm should be the scariest movie you will ever see. Just awe at this flying dot horror:

A couple of truck drivers are killed by flying dots.

A scientist is killed by flying dots.

A bunch of flying dots explode from pustules on a corpse.

An entire town is besieged by flying dots.

That's just a taste of the flying dot terror you can expect in Deadly Swarm! Plot, characters, pacing? Who cares? Flying dots, man!

The Verdict

Flying dots!

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 50

Perp Profile

Studio: Lionsgate
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)
Subtitles:
• None
Running Time: 86 Minutes
Release Year: 2003
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• Bad
• Horror
• Science Fiction
• Thriller

Distinguishing Marks

• None

Accomplices

• IMDb








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