All Rise...

Judge David Johnson has only one thing in common with Derek Jeter: He also dated Mariah Carey.

The Charge

You've got to be kidding me.

The Case

I grew up in New York, but somehow managed to avoid being a Yankees fan. I had a brief flirtation with the Mets because that was the name of my tee-ball team, but I wisely jettisoned that allegiance and skated through life unattached to any particular hardball laundry. (Thank you young me for sparing older me a lifetime of crushing disappointment.)

Moving to New England, I soon absorbed a disdain for the Yankees thanks to pure geographic osmosis and have steadily nurtured that flame of bitterness. Yet my acrimony never seemed to extend to Derek Jeter. And I would wager even the most die-hard of Red Sox fan would agree that the guy is pretty hard to dislike. He's professional, accomplished and keeps his nose clean. In the pressure cooker that is New York, that is remarkable. Plus, it helps he plays with a premium douchebag like A-Rod, which makes Jeter look like Billy Graham in comparison.

All that to say, Jeter recently bagged his 3,000th hit (after an interminable amount of hype) and he did it precisely in the fashion a guy as blessed by life as he is, would. On July 9, 2011, in Yankee Stadium, against the Tampa Bay Rays, Jeter went five for five and his 3,000th was—you guessed it—a homerun. It was perfect to the point of nauseating.

The game wasn't bad either, undecided until the very end. Here is the broadcast, transferred over to DVD for Jeter fans to enjoy. It's the YES network, the Yankees' local broadcast, which is apt. Even better, there's an audio feature that allows you to watch the game while listening to the radio play-by-play. So that's twice the homerism!

The specs: 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, 2.0 stereo, and sadly no bonus features.

The Verdict

This lean DVD is a missed opportunity to further pump up Jeter, but that's not what these releases are about anyway. For fans: Not Guilty.

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