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Case Number 14290: Small Claims Court

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Dick: The Devil Dared Me To

Vivendi Visual Entertainment // 2008 // 81 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Clark Douglas // August 18th, 2008

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All Rise...

Judge Clark Douglas thinks the devil must have dared someone to make this crummy movie.

The Charge

Live fast, die faster.

The Case

Randy is a young boy living in New Zealand. When we first meet Randy, he is attempting to do the impossible. He's going to try and make an amazing jump on his bike that no one has ever attempted. He does not succeed. Randy falls off his bike and breaks his arm. Randy is not the first person in his family to fail at stunts. He comes from a long line of failed stuntmen who all died attempting to do really stupid things. Randy feels that his destiny is to be an incredible stuntman, and he's willing to do anything he needs to do in order to be successful.

Randy's hero is a guy named Dick Johansonson. Dick is a famous stuntman, and Randy loves going to Dick's shows. One day, Dick decides he wants to perform a particularly stupid stunt. He wants to jump over a bunch of people in his truck. The stunt goes badly. A couple people are killed, a few people are wounded. Randy is among the injured. For some inexplicable reason, Dick starts treating Randy very badly after this. When Randy grows up, he vows to prove that he is the better stuntman, which will win him the heart of a lovely one-legged girl.

Dick: The Devil Dared Me To is an ungainly low-budget comedy for the Jackass generation. It's an aggressively dumb and crass film that is severely lacking in wit or intelligence of any sort. Permit me to share a few highlights with you.

• A guy throws a woman's wooden leg into a pile of feces and makes her pick it up.

• A guy rubs feces all over another guy's jacket. There is a lot of this sort of thing in this movie, in case you haven't figured that out by now.

• A woman whose face has been burned off is treated as the subject of much mockery. She pulls a veil off her face, and people start vomiting all over the place. A fat man French kisses her and licks all over her face, which causes more vomiting.

• At every possible opportunity, Dick Johansonson's first name is used as the butt of an unimaginative joke. As in, "He's such a Dick." Ha.

• Lots of dumb guys attempt to perform all kinds of stunts, and most of them are killed or horribly injured in some way. The majority of the film consists of people getting injured and everyone around them either laughing or saying, "Oh, that's so gross!"

• When people get mad in this film, they don't just yell and scream. They break their friends' bones and run over each other with cars. They also do this when they're not mad. It's not uncommon for someone to just stab the guy standing next to him for laughs.

• A guy goes to prison and drops soap in the shower. This leads to the ever-popular "prison rape montage."

I could go on and on, kids. The performances in the film are all miserable and one-dimensional. Each actor delivers their dialogue in the same grating way, placing noisy emphasis on every swear word. Example: "I don't give a f—k what you think, d—-wad! Now go take a s—t!" And yes, they actually say things like that. The dialogue isn't that important, though. Any words used in the film are only desperately crass lead-ins to scenes of gross-out violence. At first it seems like a couple of romantic subplots (if you can call them that) are providing a little respite for viewers, but alas, these only exist so that the romances can end in (you guessed it) disgusting and horribly violent ways.

The full-frame transfer is pretty lousy. The film looks like it was shot with an old home video camera. Sound is even worse, with uninspired music (was it originally written for a Cinemax movie?) often drowning out dialogue. Extras include a 12-minute making-of featurette, another 12-minute piece on choreographing the stunts, two music videos, and a trailer. None of this is interesting.

I hated this movie. There are films that bore me, films that annoy me, films that disappoint me, and films that just aren't my cup of tea…but there aren't many that I passionately despise. Dick: The Devil Dared Me To wins the distinction of being one of the most repulsively idiotic and mean-spirited movies I've seen in a while. It's not just dumb; it's sadistic, homophobic, and utterly soulless. I'd rather drop the soap in a prison shower than sit through this film again. Guilty.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 10

Perp Profile

Studio: Vivendi Visual Entertainment
Video Formats:
• Full Frame
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)
Subtitles:
• Chinese
Running Time: 81 Minutes
Release Year: 2008
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• Bad
• Comedy

Distinguishing Marks

• "The Making of a Cult Classic"
• "How to Choreograph a Stunt Film"
• Music Videos
• Trailer

Accomplices

• IMDb








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