Judge Clark Douglas thinks the title of this film serves as a sufficient review.
Our review of Disaster Movie (Blu-Ray), published January 6th, 2009, is also available.
Lewd, rewd, crewd, newd. Celebrate end times!
"Alvin and the Chipmunks have rabies!"
Facts of the Case
A totally horrible disaster is like, on the horizon. A dude named Will (Matt Lanter, Heroes) saw a vision of the apocalypse during a dream, and the disaster can't be averted unless Will finds a mystical Crystal Skull. Unfortunately, terrible things start happening and Will has to hide out with his friends Calvin (G. Thang, In Case of Emergency), Amy (Vanessa Minnillo, The Bold and the Beautiful), Enchanted Princess (Nicole Parker, Meet the Spartans) and Juney (Crista Flanaga, Epic Movie). During all of this chaos, our young heroes will meet up with Hellboy, Iron Man, Batman, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Beowulf, Kung Fu Panda, Amy Winehouse, and many other recent pop-culture icons.
The following is a scientific test designed to examine your soul. Please answer the following questions as honestly as possible.
1. Describe your feelings about directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.
In case the names do not ring a bell, please be aware that they are the two
responsible for Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans and nowDisaster
2. Which films do you think a film called Disaster Movie should
3. If Hellboy, The Incredible Hulk, Batman, and other iconic movie
characters of 2008 appear onscreen in a comedy, what should they do?
4. Seeing an Amy Winehouse look-alike burping for about one minute straight
5. Disaster Movie makes a point to criticize the writing in Juno on numerous occasions. What is your reaction
6. A man falls into a giant pile of fecal matter. He then utters the word,
"S-t!" What is your reaction to this?
7. Should every female character in a film be referred to as a bitch and/or
whore at some point in a film?
8. Which of the three following activities appeal the most to you?
9. Which category would you say best describes the type of humor you
10. What should a movie spoof attempt to do?
Okay, please tally your answers. Got it? All right, let's see how you did.
If you answered "A" to the majority of the questions, congratulations. You are permitted go on about your business, skip Disaster Movie and have children.
If you answered "B" to the majority of the questions, you are either insane or high. If the former, then you certainly need to seek help. If the latter…um…got anything for me? It's been a bad day.
If you answered "C" to the majority of the questions, then you will love this film. It will make you laugh endlessly, until you forget about it ten minutes later due to the state of your badly-damaged brain. In fact, you probably didn't make it this far, but rather quit three questions into the survey and started surfing the web for free 15-second porn clips.
Video quality is perfectly sufficient, despite the fact that flesh tones seem slightly off from time to time. Even so, blacks are deep enough the image is occasionally vibrant. The audio suffers from a little distortion at times, and the surprisingly clever Christopher Lennertz score is buried beneath the noisy sound design and dialogue. Extras include a cast and crew commentary that sounds like it was recorded in public restroom, a handful of terribly banal making-of featurettes, and a couple of sing-along sequences. One thing made me raise my eyebrows a little. Several trailers play when you pop in the DVD, for two Dane Cook movies, Oliver Stone's W., and Bill Maher's Religulous. The first two I understand completely, but the latter two are odd choices to push to the Disaster Movie crowd.
The Rebuttal Witnesses
I simply can't defend this film on any level. It's a horrible, horrible effort that is currently ranked as the worst film of all time over at IMDb. However, I know that every movie has it's defenders, so I'll let someone from the IMDb forum named "mrdonleone" offer his rebuttal: "I love it but I don't understand it. In the last 100 days I saw this movie 4 times. I hated it the first 2 times. The third time I was laughing, but today I loved it! But I still don't understand why everybody hates it? I don't understand why I didn't like it the first 2 times I saw it it's funny."
So, evidence suggests that the film gets better with repeat viewings. Unfortunately, you will not be able to get me to return to Disaster Movie via any legal or non-violent means.
The film ends with a parody of Sarah Silverman's "I'm f—-ing Matt Damon," in which all of the characters from the film sing about how they're f—-ing each other. When the song concludes, the viewers will realize that they have just been f—-ed by one of the worst comedies ever made.
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