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Case Number 06500: Small Claims CourtDisorderlies
Warner Bros. // 1987 // 86 Minutes // Rated PG Judge Patrick Naugle ponders whether the Fat Boys would have been more successful in films had they spelled their name with a "Ph" at the beginning and a "Z" at the end. Probably not.
The ChargeThe Fat Boys are about to make a house call! The CaseWhen three overweight and underqualified orderlies are transported from their Brooklyn workplace (well, fired is more like it) to Palm Beach, Florida, to take care of the elderly, wheelchair-bound Mr. Dennison (Ralph Bellamy, Trading Places), it becomes a disaster of comedic proportions! It seems that Mr. Dennison's sleazy nephew Winslow (Anthony Geary) has let his compulsive gambling habit spiral out of control, and is in debt to some dangerous thugs. If Winslow doesn't pay up soon, he could find himself spinning that big roulette wheel in the sky. Winslow's plan: Hire the most inept help he can find to make sure his rich Uncle Dennison keels over in record time. But his plan goes haywire when the Fat Boys begin to take Dennison from one foot in the grave to both feet on the dance floor! Get ready to party your hot crossed buns off with the Disorderlies! The 1980s were a fun decade, weren't they? It seems that in the music industry these days it's all about being mean and thuggish or sexy and slutty. No one seems to be having fun anymore—the bottom line is always money, and if you aren't making millions, you'd better move over for the newest, hottest, most intimidating new rapper or pop star to take your place. Ah, but once there was a simpler time. It was a time when three very large fat men could become not only music stars, but also movie stars. I'm talking, of course, about Mark Morales, the late Darren Robinson, and Damon Wimbley, a.k.a. "The Fat Boys." Yes, there was a time when three overweight, goofy rappers could wrangle themselves not just movie roles, but starring movie roles. Granted, the 1987 comedy Disorderlies was their only movie (unless you count the laughably bad Krush Groove), but hey—at least they made it that far. That was certainly good news for them. But it's bad news for us. I really wanted to like Disorderlies. I did. I really, really did. More than any catalog re-release in recent history, I wanted to see Disorderlies again and feel the same happiness I did when I saw it 18 years ago. Alas, the movie is funny for all of 10 minutes, then uses the same joke like a crutch throughout the rest of the film. Not surprisingly, almost the entire film is based around the fact that the Fat Boys are…well…fat. They eat a lot. They can't fit through doorways. They eat some more. They accidentally knock people into pools. More eating. Did I mention they eat a lot? As you can see, it's all a one-note joke that isn't sustained very well. The Fat Boys' Disorderlies joins such one-hit wonder films as Spice World and The Jerky Boys as gags that went on far too long and ended up being absolute bombs. The one thing that made me laugh is the filmmakers didn't make much of an effort to make the Fat Boys look like real-life, or even Hollywood-real-life, orderlies. It's as if the three rappers took off their shirts, put on white gowns, and said, "Okay, we're orderlies, but we're still fat rappers!" Complementing them is 83-year old Hollywood legend Ralph Bellamy, who starts off as a grumpy old codger and ends up becoming endeared to his overweight help (hearing him tell one character to "chill out" is slightly amusing). But in the end, Disorderlies fails because the filmmakers couldn't look past the Fat Boys' personas and into a good screenplay with witty dialogue and funny situations. Like Jim Carrey's even worse Ace Ventura: Pet Detective movies, Disorderlies is a two-minute joke stretched to almost painful lengths. I hate to say it, but the film is crushed under the weight of the Fat Boys' personalities. Disorderlies is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen. Hey, at the very least, fans should be happy that they get this movie in what I think is its first widescreen transfer. Overall it's a decent looking picture, though it doesn't hold a candle to some of Warner Bros.' other catalog efforts. The colors and black levels are all well rendered without any bleeding present. Dirt, grain, and other imperfections show up once in a great while, but are kept at the bare minimum. The soundtrack is presented in Dolby Digital 1.0 Mono in English. There isn't a whole lot to say about this sound mix—the dialogue, music, and effects are all clearly heard, and that's about it. Not surprisingly, there's little in the way of dynamic range or fidelity—this is a very front-heavy sound mix (no pun intended). Also included on this disc are English, French, and Spanish subtitles. Disorderlies certainly isn't fat with extra features. All fans get is a measly theatrical trailer for the film. Similar Decisions
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