All Rise...

Judge David Johnson thinks Dora's next adventure should involve a one-way trip to Neptune.

Editor's Note

Our reviews of Dora The Explorer: Big Sister Dora (published June 1st, 2005), Dora The Explorer: Dora Celebrates Three Kings Day! (published December 24th, 2008), Dora The Explorer: Dora's Big Birthday Adventure (published August 16th, 2010), Dora The Explorer: Dora's Butterfly Ball (published March 23rd, 2013), Dora The Explorer: Dora's Christmas (published December 6th, 2004), Dora The Explorer: Dora's Christmas Carol Adventure (published December 9th, 2009), Dora The Explorer: Dora's First Trip (published April 11th, 2006), Dora The Explorer: Dora's Slumber Party (published September 11th, 2010), Dora The Explorer: It's A Party (published August 4th, 2005), Dora The Explorer: It's Haircut Day (published May 8th, 2011), Dora The Explorer: Save The Day (published February 3rd, 2006), Dora The Explorer: Super Babies (published November 2nd, 2005), and Dora The Explorer: Undercover Dora (published February 8th, 2008) are also available.

The Charge

Shut Up!!! SHUT UP!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT UP!!!!

The Case

(15 minutes earlier)
Okey-dokey, another four adventures of Nick Jr's go-to conquistadoress, Dora the Explorer. For those not in on the lowdown, here's how it shakes out: Dora is this ultra-annoying little girl who doesn't talk so much as shriek her words at you. Each episode chronicles a mindless adventure that she embarks on, aided by her trusty monkey friend Boots and her brother Diego. To help them on their quest, they consult Map, a talking map with a voice almost as grating as Dora's. Along the way they are confronted by some truly mind-boggling puzzles, like choosing the path with the frog on it, and look to you (the viewer) to help them through the obstacles. The whole thing encourages interaction from your preschooler as he or she attempts to match decibels with Dora, shouting the answers back at her, until, with child and cartoon character screaming at the top of their voices, your house resembles one of those 19th century British insane asylums.

• "Save Diego"
Diego finds himself in danger and dangling from a rope when he goes mountain climbing to rescue an animal. It falls to Dora and the gang to spring him from his plight. But before they can haul his broke ass home they have to negotiate the dangers of the rainforest. Can you help them?

• "Baby Jaguar's Roar"
Baby Bear is stuck on the top of Big Mountain and the little bastard has no way to get down. It's time again for Dora's crew to leap into action, as she, Boots, Diego and Baby Jaguar "jump, swim and climb like jaguars" to Big Mountain. Can you jump like a jaguar?

• "Click!"
No, sadly, it's not the sound of the DVD player powering down before this episode ends, but rather the snap of Dora's camera. She's off to nab pictures of animals in their environment and wants you to identify creatures hiding out in the forest. Can you strike a pose?

• "Hic-Boom-Ohh"
Is that what was cried out the moment Dora was conceived? Of course not, and that's disgusting thank you very much. We actually don't what that sound is, but luckily the intrepid Dora and the intrepid you are on hand to maneuver through the woods and find out what animal is making such a weird sound! Can you figure it out?

And we're done. Four more mind-numbing proto-interactive animated adventures in the can. Will the tots like it? Judging by the show's popularity and how it elicits reactions from the viewers, you bet they will. So, Dora fans, rejoice—yet another DVD to add to the collection. As for me, I…er…what is that in my head?
No.
No!
It can't be.
That voice…that voice just continues to torment me.

"Ola!"
"Can you help me figure out what path to take?!?"
"I'm Dora! I will eat your soul!!!"

Shut Up!!! SHUT UP!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT UP!!!!

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