All Rise...

Judge David Johnson thinks Boots can go straight to Hell.

Editor's Note

Our reviews of Dora The Explorer: Animal Adventures (published June 7th, 2006), Dora The Explorer: Big Sister Dora (published June 1st, 2005), Dora The Explorer: Dora Celebrates Three Kings Day! (published December 24th, 2008), Dora The Explorer: Dora's Big Birthday Adventure (published August 16th, 2010), Dora The Explorer: Dora's Butterfly Ball (published March 23rd, 2013), Dora The Explorer: Dora's Christmas (published December 6th, 2004), Dora The Explorer: Dora's Christmas Carol Adventure (published December 9th, 2009), Dora The Explorer: Dora's First Trip (published April 11th, 2006), Dora The Explorer: It's A Party (published August 4th, 2005), Dora The Explorer: It's Haircut Day (published May 8th, 2011), Dora The Explorer: Save The Day (published February 3rd, 2006), Dora The Explorer: Super Babies (published November 2nd, 2005), and Dora The Explorer: Undercover Dora (published February 8th, 2008) are also available.

The Charge

Hello…Dora.

The Case

She's Nickelodeon's cash cow and the bane of humanity. She is Dora and with her grating, high-pitched voice, she will rupture the ear canals of dogs. And where is her nose? Don't get me started on that.

For Dora's Slumber Party, this malevolent being beckons you into her boudoir for six episodes of anthropomorphic map conversation, purple monkeys dressed in human clothes, and introductory Spanish lessons.

• "Boots's Cuddly Dinosaur"
Dora and Boots (and you!) need to find Boots's stuffed animal so he can go to sleep.

• "The Lost City"
It's another missing stuffed toy adventure and Dora heads to the Lost City to track her teddy bear down.

• "Super Babies' Dream Adventure"
I don' feel like talking about this one.

• "Louder"
The sun is asleep and Dora needs to get Red Rooster to crow, despite the fact that Dora's inside voice is a near-shriek and plenty loud enough to wake up a celestial body.

• "Little Star"
Little Star falls to Earth and Dora calls upon you and her magic astronomy powers to get it back in the sky.

• "Dora Had a Little Lamb"
Dora and Boots wield dark powers of the occult to enter the world of nursery rhymes and help the Little Lamb find Mary.

There you have it: 147 minutes of a continuous nightmare. But your kids should like it. Full frame, 2.0 stereo, no extras, the end.

The Verdict

Guilty of filling my heart with darkness and despair.

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