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Case Number 07345: Small Claims Court

Buy Earthquake: About Got Damm Time! at Amazon

Earthquake: About Got Damm Time!

Fox // 2001 // 58 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Mitchell Hattaway (Retired) // August 5th, 2005

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All Rise...

Judge Mitchell Hattaway felt the earth move while laughing to this popular stand-up comedian.

The Charge

He's a force to be reckoned with!

The Case

If you own a television, and I'm assuming you do, you've probably run across Earthquake at least once. While his frequent appearances on Comedy Central (where he has been featured in his own episodes of Premium Blend and Comedy Central Presents) and BET (where he usually pops up in between airings of that stupid, nine-hour long R. Kelly video) haven't made him a household name, he is nevertheless a comedian with a loyal, ever-growing fan base. (Damn, I'm starting to sound like his publicist.)

In late 2001, Earthquake performed at the Civic Center in Gulf Port, Mississippi; recorded for posterity, the show has finally hit DVD. In keeping with comedy-DVD-reviewing protocol, I am going to present to you Earthquake's observations on a variety of topics:

• His Mother: "I put her in one of them homes, but she keeps catching a cab over to my house."

• His Kids: "Two of 'em look like me and the other don't. My kids are like a bad spades hand: two and a possible."

• Pets: "My daughter says she wants a dog. I'm gonna buy a drug-sniffing dog and make it work for both of us. You say you ain't got no more herb? The dog says you do."

• The Hunt for Osama bin Laden: "If you want to find Osama, don't send the Air Force or the Navy. Send Child Support! Earthquake ain't my real name, but they found me!"

• Slavery: "You whippin' me and you ain't payin' me? Kiss my ass!"

• Whitney Houston: "She ain't gonna never leave Bobby. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. You know how hard it is to find somebody to cook your crack cocaine the way you like it?"

• Racism: "I don't understand how anybody could be racist. All of us got retarded-ass kids."

• The Lack of Plot, Budget, and Production Values in African-American Porn: "Damn! How'd they meet?" (That's all that can be quoted here, but the rest of it is incredibly funny.)

There is a lot of funny stuff here, but there is not really enough funny stuff to sustain this disc through its running time. Earthquake starts running out of steam about fifteen minutes before the end, and there is a long segment on his wife and marriage that simply goes nowhere (maybe it's just me, but there is nothing worse than a mean, abrasively funny comedian getting all maudlin). What you get here is a killer forty-minute set that has been padded out with fifteen minutes of marginal-at-best material.

The audio/video quality is about what you would expect from this type of release. It won't win any awards, but the transfer is clean, clear, and free of defects (the show looks to have been recorded on digital video); the stereo soundtrack sounds more like big fat mono (which is perfectly okay given the nature of the material), but it does the job nicely. Extras include roughly a billion trailers for other titles in Fox's line of standup comedy discs, as well as ten minutes of footage of Earthquake preparing for the show (there's nothing of genuine substance here, but it does provide a nice contrast between the real man and his stage persona).

If you're a diehard Earthquake fan, you should be quite happy with this release. If, on the other hand, you're not, I cannot recommend a purchase. If you have no idea who he is, have no fear, because he will probably show up on BET in about fifteen minutes. If he doesn't, just hang on for a few minutes—R. Kelly will have to come out of that bloody closet sooner or later.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 70

Perp Profile

Studio: Fox
Video Formats:
• Full Frame
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Subtitles:
• English
• Spanish
Running Time: 58 Minutes
Release Year: 2001
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• Comedy
• Performance

Distinguishing Marks

• Behind-the-Scenes Footage
• Trailers

Accomplices

• Earthquake's Official Site








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