Judge David Johnson has found the greatest line of dialogue ever recorded on film: "I don't trust zombies."
Flesh-eating zombies don't stand a chance!
Enter…Zombie King, which, in another life, was called Zombie Beach Party (a title to which I'm much more partial) is an insane blend of wrestling, horror, sleaze, and Canadians. Translation: a perfect holiday treat!
Facts of the Case
Our story begins with Ulysses (Jules Delorme), a legendary wrestler, on his way to visit his friends Blue Saint and Mercedes at their beach house. Ulysses is an introverted deep thinker, letting the philosophy fly in his narration and quoting Aristotle freely, but still fully capable of laying the smack down on some chump. On his way he discovers an old wrestling friend, Tiki (El Fuego—seriously, that's the guy's name) and his new zombie-wrestling gimmick. His interest piqued, he convinces Blue Saint and Mercedes to check out one of Tiki's events.
On the night of the event, however, a woman is brutalized in a zombie attack, and everyone looks at Tiki as being the one responsible. He insists his zombies are domesticated, but no one believes him. Ulysses enlists the help of Mr. X, another old wrestling chum-turned-government agent. Mr. X arrives on the scene, and deduces that Tiki is indeed free from blame, which leaves a more disturbing alternative: there are wild zombies running around.
The group investigates, sending out one of Tiki's captured zombies to find a "peer group," as zombies naturally do. Their quest leads them to the nefarious Zombie King—surprise, another character from Ulysses's past—and his henchpersons, French Vixen and The Murderlizer.
Good and evil will clash, heads will be ripped off, blood will spurt, and wrestling will be performed before the night is through. Bet on it.
Electromagnetic radiation is comprised of many different wavelengths, from gamma rays, with the shortest wavelength (one-trillionth of a centimeter) to radio waves with the longest (a mile or two). The spectrum is huge, with the longest wavelengths 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 longer than the shortest. The sun radiates types of light and heat that fall within a staggeringly narrow band inside the vastness of that spectrum. This is the only light capable of supporting life on Earth—a miniscule degree up or down, and Earth is a barren rock floating in space.
How does all this relate to a low-budget movie about zombies and wrestlers? Well, one infinitesimal degree up or down, and Enter…Zombie King would have been another entry into the Hall of Filth. Guys walking around in wrestler masks beating up zombies?! That sounds like a recipe for catastrophe.
But, I am pleased to say, the folks at El Zorrero Films nailed that vanishingly small margin, and produced a fun, gory, amusing zombie romp, that's—gasp!—smart in some places! All of this from a film previously known as Zombie Beach Party?! You betcha.
The charm of this flick comes from the alternate universe the characters seem to inhabit. Here, masked wrestlers walk freely among unmasked folks, and no one seems to mind. It's just accepted as normal, and never explained. Similarly, the existence of zombies is not considered odd; in fact, there are different kinds of zombies, "wild" and "domesticated," and apparently some research has been done on the creatures (see "zombie peer group").
Let me take a moment to remind everyone that I judge this movie in terms of its under-the-radar B-movie brethren. Taken in that context, Enter…Zombie King is a solid performer.
Compared to films that are judged on story, acting, and all of that other highbrow crap, this movie keels over and dies. The acting is atrocious, particularly Delorme's Ulysses. He does have some great lines (Zombie King: "Good and evil are one in the same!" Ulysses: "Damn moral relativist!"), but his dialogue is delivered in such a wooden fashion that it was laughable. And the plot is nonsense—something about zombies being cross-bred with humans to form an undead army.
But if you free yourself of these expectations and regress back to a seventh grade mentality, you will have a great time. And not to mention the copious gore, superfluous nudity, and unbridled wrestling action! Enter…Zombie King is a winner.
The movie looks surprisingly good for a low-budget feature. It benefits from a widescreen transfer that works much better when the scenes are well-lit. The action tends to get lost in the darker sequences, but these are limited pretty much to the beginning. Sound is a straightforward 5.1 mix, with enough oomph! given to the wrestling moves and the zombie growls. Just some credits and trailers, unfortunately, comprise the extras.
Enter…Zombie King is pretty much what I look for in a B-movie. It doesn't take itself seriously, the gore flows freely, it's damn funny, and—whoa, check it out!—it stars a bunch of wrestlers kicking ass and waxing Aristotelian.
The court merrily sends the accused on its way to spread holiday cheer to all it encounters.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: ADV Films
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