All Rise...

Judge David Johnson wants to marry zombie movies.

The Charge

Who said the Greeks weren't twisted bastards?

Opening Statement

Well, I don't know if anyone has ever said that. But if you do run across someone who spouts such lies, you need only point them toward this blood-soaked zombie extravaganza.

Facts of the Case

Three spelunking friends are traipsing through a cave when a POV shot hits them in the face. A few hours later, they turn into flesh-eating ghouls, and attack everyone around them. Thing is, the illness is contagious, so, very quickly, the entire populace is consumed with this zombie madness.

A ragtag group of survivors (genre law mandates that the protagonists in zombie movies are always considered "ragtag") desperately tries to fend off the rampaging hordes, leaping from holdout to holdout, and fighting back when the zombies eventually breach the defenses.

What transpires is a sequence of gore-soaked set-pieces, a foot fetish scene and the world record for beheadings in a low-budget Greek horror film.

The Evidence

This little horror germ was a surprise. It's the farthest thing form an original concept, but as per the play-by-play of zombie splatter films dictates, Evil executes with panache. The title bites though. Let's look at the rundown:

• The Gore Factor
Truly the most important aspect of a film that hopes to make its bones on its excessive bloodshed. The good news for gorehounds is that there is plenty of gib-ulous mayhem to be found here. In fact, an argument could be made—successfully I believe—that Evil is less a "movie" than an 85 minute effects demo. The wizards behind the make-up and gore gags have packed in lots of goo-soaked havoc, and while solid mainstays like decapitations and eye wounds are present, these guys have tossed in some novel fright sights, not the least of which are some exceedingly well-done head explosions. In short, plenty of splatter, ranging from obviously-low-budget snickerfests to impressive feats of smashed sinew.

• The Humor
Evil is more closely aligned to Dead Alive and its ilk than hardcore horror-thrillers like the recent Dawn of the Dead remake. The survivors are a diverse bunch: you've got a sleazy cabbie only interested on licking women's feet, a 14-year-old orphan girl who looks like a 23-year-old Penthouse model and psychotic soldier who laughs himself silly as he hacks into the flesh of the undead. It's not straight-up slapstick, but the tone of the film and the amusing bit of dialogue that pop up from time to time, take the edge off the darker stuff.

• The Swiftly Paced Nihilism
What's cool about Evil is there's no downtime. Zombies are running the streets within 15 minutes and the fist liter of blood is spilled well before that. It's an unpretentious splatter film, lacking a happy ending or even a shred of exposition that revels in creative ways to murder a person. A high heel to the face. A karate kick to the midsection. A point-blank shotgun blast to the face. Whatever popped into the filmmakers' minds, I submit, likely made it onto the final cut. And the whole thing is a little over 80 minutes.

Nothing much to report, presentation-wise: a budget-looking, non-anamorphic widescreen transfer, still gallery and trailer. Yee-haw.

Closing Statement

Stream-of-consciousness splatter. Take it or leave it.

The Verdict

Grab a mop and get to work. Oh, and not guilty.

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