All Rise...

Judge David Johnson is so extreme his friends never return his calls.

The Charge

Lesnar vs. Cena

The Case

WWE's old-new meal ticket, Brock Lesnar, is back after an eight year dalliance with mixed martial arts, and the McMahon empire has wasted no time in getting him headlining Pay-Per-Views. His match with feud-partner John Cena is the top billing for Extreme Rules 2012.

Before we get to that, there's some other business to take care of:

Randy Orton vs. Kane (Falls Count Anywhere Match)
These matches—where the opponents takes their fights out of the ring and backstage—are difficult to suspend disbelief. Kane and Orton throws debris and slam each other on concrete. But without the pomp of the ring, the staging is painfully obvious. The good news is, when these guys get back into the ring, the action picks up thanks to some well-placed chairs.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler
Not entirely sure what happened in this match. Can't get the image of hip-hop little people out of my head. Well played, fellas.

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show (Tables Match)
Gimmicky and brief, used mainly to turn Big Show heel.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan (2-out-of-3 Falls Match)
Two of the WWE's top dogs collide for an extended best of three match.

Ryback vs. two local athletes
I…don't understand this one. Two clowns get taken apart by a shrieking dumbass with no neck.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho (Chicago Street Fight)
Hometown boy CM Punk hears some serious burn in this entertaining, high-flying match-up with Jericho.

Layla vs. Divas Champion Nikki Bella
It's a Divas Championship match and someone wins!

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules Match)
Finally, the top card. The set-up: Cena is still smarting from his loss to The Rock at WrestleMania, and Brock Lesnar is back in town to "legitimize" WWE (whatever that means). Regardless, this match brought some serious heat, with both guys bleeding all over themselves by the final bell. Good stuff.

The DVD: standard definition 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, Dolby 2.0 Stereo, and a CM Punk interview.

The Brock/Cena match alone is worth the purchase price.

The Verdict

Not Guilty.

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