Judge David Johnson burns fat like a motherf-er.
Shed pounds and have fun.
Sounds good to me! I like having fun! And shedding pounds!
Ironically enough, I was just talking about my desire to have fun and shed pounds with some old friends, not that long ago…
A few days ago
ZEPHYR: Is that Dave?
COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: Where?
ZEPHYR: Over there, wearing that hot pink beret, screaming at the park bench.
COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: I think it is…Dave! Dave! Over here!
DAVE: Oh, hey guys! I didn't see you sitting there.
ZEPHYR: What've you been up to? The last time we talked was…in the Biodome, right?
DAVE: Yep, yep. The Biodome. What are you guys doing in the park at this time of night?
COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: I'll give you two guesses.
COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: Jarts.
ZEPHYR: I have to say, Dave, you're looking quite fit.
DAVE: I thank you for that kind observation, sir. I am indeed feeling pretty good these days.
COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: You, my friend, are svelte!
ZEPHYR: Yes, svelte. That's an excellent word for your current condition.
DAVE: I wish I could say my remarkable metabolism is responsible for the Adonis you see before you, but this Olympian physique is a result of a lot of hard work.
COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: I'm quickly losing interest in this story.
ZEPHYR: Me too.
DAVE: I owe all of my bodily success to Dancing with the Stars: Fat-Burning Cardio Dance.
COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: Wow…look at the time! Sorry Dave, gotta go. We've got a tandem orthodontist appointment.
DAVE: Hosted by dancers Chelsi, Edyta, and Kym, Cardio Dance focuses on fat-burning routines.
ZEPHYR: Oh man, is that a rhinoceros on the loose?! We better get out of here…
DAVE: There are three workouts, each using a specific dance style: the low-impact Mambo Mix, the accessible Hollywood Jazz, and the high-octane hip-hop flavored Hustle and Pop. Each routine runs 15 minutes, with a cooldown clocking in at five minutes. The disc features a 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer, 2.0 stereo, a custom dance builder, and a music-only option.
COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: Golly, I do believe my appendix has burst. See you around, Dave!
Not Guilty. Hello thong!
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