Appellate Judge Rob Lineberger may have been too hard on this movie. It is full of cheap shots and lame footage, but at least there are breasts.
Intelligent life can take many forms…
Yes, intelligent life can take many forms. As can intelligent movies with intelligent scripts. Forbidden Zone: Alien Abduction is evidence for the inverse, which is that formless scripts make unintelligent movies.
If the names Charles Band or Full Moon mean anything to you, you may already have an inkling of what to expect from this movie. I thought I did. Full Moon sometimes suffers from trying to provide interesting (or at least quirky) plots; these efforts sometimes succeed, and sometimes miss the mark, causing the picture to drag. One certainty is that you'll see lots of skin in relatively decent erotic trappings.
Forbidden Zone: Alien Abduction manages to become wholly uninteresting. It is an inexplicable failure. The assembled women are attractive and non-plastic. The movie opens with a naked swim, and continues in that vein. After a promising opening diddle, momentum grinds to a screeching halt. A bunch of women converge on a sauna with towels wrapped around them and start an unconvincing exchange of girl banter. There is no hint of erotic tension, so even when a towel slips, it seems de-eroticized. The women describe passionate fantasies that somehow fail to be passionate. For example, Pía Reyes tells of a late night jog where a tall stranger with incredible stamina outruns her and then surprises her in an old house. As fun as it is to see two people jogging in dimly lit woods for five minutes and enter a rundown house, it would have been nice if something sexy or erotic took place. After all, that is what the film is about. Watching women in towels talk about jogging and such is not high on my list of fantasy material. To make matters worse, the women all end up in various sets that were obviously created for other movies.
Soon, one of the ladies starts having seizures, which is what most of the audience feels like doing. We eventually learn that the women were victims of an alien abduction. We might have been surprised by this twist of events, had the movie title not been Forbidden Zone: Alien Abduction. Or, had they not shown an alien in the opening scenes. Or, had the ladies not discussed the UFO that was following them around. The only people who seem the slightest bit interested in the alien subplot are the characters relating the tale.
Full Moon should be among the first to realize that we don't ask much from our erotic fluff. Lots of skin, some premise to hold it all together, frequent disrobings, humorous twist. Here we have a gripe session with long periods of exposition, interspersed with fog-heavy beams of light and 1.4 seconds of breasts. The movie was a failure even by the low standards it sets for itself, which may explain why they changed the name from the original title of Alien Abduction: Intimate Secrets. Prefixing Forbidden Zone to the title somehow causes people to confuse this movie with the cult classic Forbidden Zone. Go figure. The Elfmans had nothing to do with this one, folks.
The full frame picture and stereo sound are free of massive artifacts and loud screeching bursts of noise. Otherwise there is nothing remarkable about them. The menu gives you two options: "Play Movie" and "Trailers." Of the two, I recommend that you avoid the "Play Movie" option and elect for the "Trailers." These are the best kinds of trailers, the ones that show the best parts of the best sex scenes in a three-minute montage. The trailer for Exotic Time Machine is better than the entire feature movie.
The court forbids anyone to re-enter this zone.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Koch Vision
• Full Moon Promos
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