Judge David Johnson was forced to watch this crap.
Win…or die fighting.
Frankly, I'm not in the mood to put a lot of effort into a review of a mediocre fighting movie. So I'll just have a conversation with my dog.
ME: Hi Lorenzo.
LORENZO: Hi Dave.
ME: What did I tell you about using my first name?
LORENZO: Sorry. Hi there "Lord and Master of All He Surveys."
ME: Better. What did you think of that movie we watched last night?
LORENZO: Forced to Fight?
LORENZO: I barely remember it. I think I was hopped up on heartworm medication. You guys need to stop buying that discounted brand from Thailand. I think they lace it with drain cleaner.
ME: Answer the question!
LORENZO: Okay, okay. It seemed pretty bland to me, and you know how much I enjoy a good action movie.
ME: Same here. Could that plot have been more banal?
LORENZO: You're gonna have to refresh my memory.
ME: Gary Daniels is the star. He's a kick-boxing champion, apparently. Plays a retired underground fighter named Shane, now living as a family man. Ring any bells?
ME: His dopey brother runs up a huge debt to Peter Weller and gets himself maimed. So Peter Weller tells Shane he has to get back into the ring to pay off the debt.
LORENZO: Right. Against his wife's wishes.
ME: Of course.
LORENZO: Then what happens?
ME: Nothing, except an unending parade of boring fights.
LORENZO: Unending fighting doesn't sound bad to me.
ME: Think again. While there's plenty of mayhem, the movie is put together with all the flair of an orthodontist convention. Rote tedious pugilism at its rotest and tediousest.
LORENZO: Those aren't words.
ME: Watch your tone or no more table scraps.
LORENZO: So was there any redeeming value? I mean, Peter Weller was Robocop!
ME: He frowns a lot.
LORENZO: So it's not a total loss.
ME: No, I suppose not.
LORENZO: At least it looked okay on Blu-ray, right?
ME: The video quality was sharp, but something was up with the audio mix. The sound didn't quite match up with the action. There was a weird split-second delay. Enough to be distracting.
LORENZO: Any extras?
ME: An interview with Peter Weller and a short making-of featurette. Wait…why do you care?
LORENZO: You're talking to your dog, remember?
ME: Oh crap! Did I leave the stove on again?!
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Image Entertainment
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