Judge David Johnson went to a frappe party last weekend. Now those were some delicious milkshakes.
The party to end all parties is just getting started.
Shockingly, this movie's title isn't preceded by "National Lampoon's." That still doesn't make it good, though.
Facts of the Case
Duffy (Randy Wayne) is graduating from college, having spent the first three years of his post-secondary academic career getting his paws on as many women as possible. His senior year is when he decided to settle down and find himself a wife (huh?). The lucky girl is Adriana (Caroline D'Amore)—beautiful, rich, and apparently not too worried about the hugely sleazy party Duffy's frat brothers are set to throw him.
The shindig is happening the night before the wedding and will take all the self-control and erectile discipline Duffy can summon to resist the parade of carnal temptations his friends have set for him—erotic massages, an encounter with a Dominatrix, nude photo sessions, and the chance to have sex with a porn star (and all the antibiotic treatments that would follow).
There is precisely one reason to see Frat Party: the relentless parade of cheap nudity. If that's your bag, then the baseness of this "comedy" should keep you satiated. There's a reason the studio put a Mr. Skin quote on the back of the disc ("A wild bunch of bare babes") instead of a legit accolade from a media outlet extolling the virtues of moviemaking quality—the boobage is the selling point, fellas, and nothing else.
It's certainly not the comedy. Frat Party isn't funny. When it does flirt with audible laughs, the depths of crudity the flick has to dig to achieve it is memorable, and not in a good way. Memorable as is in "Remember that part in Frat Party during the masseuse scene with all that fake ejaculate? Yeah, that was disgusting and emblematic of how hard those guys had to try to elicit even a smirk from us, the viewing audience."
With the humor MIA, that leaves us with…the biggest blue balls movie I have ever seen. Seriously, the entirety of the frat party is Duffy being confronted with all manner of sexual temptation, allowing himself to tread hip-deep into the debauchery before pulling back at the last minute, hot, bothered, and guilt-ridden. His self-restraint is admirable, especially when you have adult film star Jesse Jane gyrating on your lap, but the formula grows tedious. There's a purpose to it, because as the film goes forward it becomes clear the frat party is secondary to the main storyline, which is the tenuous marriage prospect of Duffy and Adriana and the douchebag guy who's trying to break them up. Will Duffy give in? Is Adriana going to find out about the frat party? Will anyone care?
No. No one will care because, after most of the runtime is slurped up with either a parade of unfunny moments or a smattering of painfully unfunny moments, all emotional investment in the future of these characters is moot. I had already turned on this movie and no amount of high-larious bondage boondoggles was going to change my mind. (Hey Duffy, if you know you're not going to do anything kinky, why volunteer to be tied up in a dungeon half-naked? Oh, right, the script called for it!)
The DVD is solid, starting with an effective 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen and 5.1 surround treatments, and ending with an okay array of extra features, including a director's commentary, a collection of brief behind-the-scenes segments, a Jesse Jane feature, and a slow-motion montage of the film's breast shots, which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about Frat Party.
Random breasts and some gross-out gags—those are the high points.
Guilty, party pooper.
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