Judge Brett Cullum shakes at the idea of being served muffins at a bed & breakfast. Carbs scare him!
You can't check in without getting checked out.
Every year, someone over at Ariztical Entertainment gets the idea we need a campy gay horror spoof to come out around Halloween. Last year, it was the zombie fest called Creatures From the Pink Lagoon, and for this season it's a slasher homage called the Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror. Five stereotypical lesbian and gay couples head to a "gay-friendly" resort run by a mother/daughter team who have secretly lured them there to convert or kill them. Nobody ever seems destined to check out of this rundown place, and there's a shrine to George W. Bush in the basement. Along the way, we get to witness the bastard child of a hundred Republican delegates, a lesbian nun who likes to seduce young women during bingo, a drag queen hook up with a butch lesbian, a sweater vest guy get it on with Mr. Leather, everyone chomp down on human mince meat muffins, and murder victims who decide they should shower and listen to other character monologues before running to safety. It's all terribly silly, but it's obvious that was the point from the start. This Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror should play well with GLBT audiences who like campy horror and plenty of eye candy.
The film is a comedy skit that runs far too long, with gore soaked slashings and seemingly endless revelations about the trio of murderers who run the establishment. Yet it does have a sense of infectious fun, and if you're a fan of gay comedy horror then it should be right up your alley. The cast includes a lot of familiar faces from queer shock cinema including Mari Marks, the always nice to look at Derek Long, Georgia Jean, Shannon Lee, Bob Koenig, Sean Abley, and Allie Rivenbark who were all featured in the queer Cronenberg send up Socket which shares a producer with this feature. Some of the ensemble also came over from director Jaymes Thompson's previous short film Fruitcake. The actors are sexy with plenty for guys and girls to ogle, including full frontal shots, nicely shaped butts, and a lesbian who likes to body paint in the buff. There's some significant gratuitous nudity sprinkled in with the gore, so we learn what makes a homosexual slasher film differ from something like Scream. Well, I guess Wes Craven never really had drag queens, a boy with slimy trash bags for legs, folk singing lesbians, or cannibalistic Republicans in any of his movies either. What sells this this farce influenced horror romp is the commitment from its players.
The DVD we were sent was a screener, so it's hard to tell what the final product of Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror is going to be like. Our DVR had a rough transfer and sound distortion issues, but I assume those should be somewhat cleaned up by release date. There were also no extras to be found, but that may change as well. At this date, the title only seems to be available through Ariztical's web site, so check the purchase link at the top of the page, if you are so inclined. Amazon has not cleared it yet, and it would be a shame if they don't get it eventually.
Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror proves straight people certainly haven't cornered the market on exploitation horror by any stretch of the imagination. This one is a good queer counterpoint to Zombie Strippers!, and the two would make an uneasy double feature for the sexually adventurous. What separates this project from mainstream exploitation films is a sense of freedom and glee, a queer statement that the gay community can be just as gag-worthy as the straight guys up the block. What's more, the pink horror spoof can laugh a lot harder at stereotypes and still look hot while doing it. I dare you to find another horror movie with a cast that spends this much time at the gym! The film is purposefully bad (awful even), but it certainly holds your attention thanks to a "are they really going there" quality. If you like horror served up with a strong dose of the absurd and a few jabs at George Bush, then get ready to check in to the Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Ariztical Entertainment
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