Judge Mitchell Hattaway had expected to wear out the slo-mo button on his remote while watching this title, but he instead wore out the fast-forward button.
Our reviews of The Man Show: Season One, Volume One (published August 11th, 2003), The Man Show: Season One, Volume Two (published February 23rd, 2004), The Man Show: The Complete Second Season (published July 28th, 2004), and The Man Show: Season Three (published June 22nd, 2005) are also available.
Warning: Contains really cute but topless jumpers.
Okay, I'll go ahead and admit it…I used to enjoy watching the girls jumping on trampolines during the end credits of Comedy Central's The Man Show (the Adam and Jimmy years, that is, as I don't think anyone enjoyed anything during the Doug and Joe years of the show's run), so you'd think this release would be right up my alley. Well, it's not. Despite all the bare breasts, it really has almost no appeal. In fact, it's about as appealing as Kathy Bates in the hot tub in About Schmidt. Maybe I've finally grown up, but The Man Show Presents: Girls on Trampolines is the most boring thing I've seen since The Horse Whisperer.
What we have here is 45 (the running time listed on the packaging is way off) minutes of girls in Christmas-themed costumes jumping up and down, giggling, then removing their tops and jumping up and down some more, while rocked-up instrumental versions of Christmas carols (with "The Hanukkah Song" thrown in for good measure) play in the background. I sat through every minute of it, and I'm still asking myself why I did it. (Well, I was required to do it for this review, but I was also afraid the moment I switched it off the girls would start making out and I'd miss it.) Sure, it would probably be cool if I looked out my window and saw this kind of thing going on, but it's just not the same on DVD, although I doubt I could watch it for 45 minutes even if it were happening in my backyard. The tops started coming off about ninety seconds in, and by the three minute mark I was praying for it to end. Heck, I think this probably would have bored Russ Meyer.
Some of the girls featured are attractive (and there's an abundance of redheads, which is never a bad thing), but a few of them aren't as hot as the women you'll find working at your local Home Depot. Several of them have had breast jobs, and very poor breast jobs at that. (In fact, one of the girls has had so much work done her plastic surgeon's office must have a drive-thru; her breasts are so fake Stevie Wonder could spot their fakeness from a thousand yards out.) This in itself violates the basic appeal of watching girls on trampolines, which is seeing specific parts of their bodies jiggle. Well, if those specific parts are fake, they don't jiggle too much, so it's like watching a mannequin on a trampoline, and where's the fun in that?
The fine folks at Eagle Rock have performed a nice job on the audio/visual end. Girl on Trampolines was shot on digital video, and the transfer is pretty much flawless. The stereo audio track sounds more like two-channel mono, but it really isn't asked to convey much; there's no real channel separation in the inane music, although there is more low-end activity than I was expecting. (Speaking of the music, I still don't know why the musicians felt the need to insert the bass line from Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side" into their rendition of "Jingle Bells.") Extras consist of behind-the-scenes footage and interviews, a photo montage, and a "Guess the Bra Size" game. The interview segments are quite funny; while watching the main feature I wondered if the participants were actually daft enough to think this would further their careers, and I think the interviews answered my question. (One of the girls is so dumb she can't seem to figure out how to untie the giant bow covering her breasts; she has to watch the other two girls on the trampoline with her untie their own before she gets it.) The photo montage is exactly what you'd expect it to be, while the game is incredibly stupid. I think it would have been more fun had it involved trying to match pre- and post-op breast augmentations, but maybe that's just me.
There's no way I could possibly recommend this title. The list price is quite low, but a Google search will help you find the same type of entertainment for free.
The producers of Girls on Trampolines are found guilty of sullying the good name of The Man Show, if such a thing is actually possible. Court is adjourned.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Eagle Rock Entertainment
• Interviews with Santa's Little Helpers
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