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Case Number 18292: Small Claims Court

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Heist (2009)

Echo Bridge Home Entertainment // 2009 // 92 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // February 10th, 2010

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All Rise...

Judge David Johnson took part in an exciting heist. The mark? His pants.

Editor's Note

Our review of Heist (2001), published April 30th, 2002, is also available.

The Charge

When the money's dirty, no one gets out clean.

The Case

Hey look, another heist movie. And it's called "Heist," too.

For this go-round, we're dealing with two brothers, K and Erik. Guess which one is the cool, got-it-together brother? That's right: K, because (as a general rule of cinematic thumb) if you have a character whose name is merely a single letter of the alphabet, he's the awesome one. Erik, being the not-having-an-alphabet-letter-for-a-name brother and thus a loser, finds himself in serious hot water, owing large amounts of money to a drug kingpin.

That's where K steps in, proposing a high-stakes heist scenario, which involves holding up an armored car…IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!!!! What do you expect—the guy's name is "K"! He's daring!

But stealing the money is only the beginning. Once they bring the loot back to their top secret warehouse and begin the laborious process of counting it—which you'll be watching in all its mathematical glory—the craziness kicks in, with back-stabbing, betrayals, impromptu sexual encounters, machine-gun-firing jilted lovers, glaring bearded bikers, more shooting, and eventually payback.

That was a fairly exciting synopsis, huh? I know I was feeling pretty into it when I was writing it. Now that I've had some time away to think about things and the emotion has settled, I'm able to clearly state that Heist isn't all that exciting.

The build-up isn't bad and the execution of the heist itself, while not complicated, suspenseful, or Ocean's Eleven-ish, is satisfying in a slam-bang kind of way. It's when the film shifts to the warehouse and deals with the aftermath that Heist grinds. Incessant jibber-jabber and shouting matches are broken up by the introduction of secondary characters, which then transitions to more jibber-jabber and shouting matches, and ultimately some light shooting.

Heist is a well-made indie movie, but just doesn't cut it as a fulfilling action/suspense experience. Skip it.

Nothing much to the DVD: 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, 5.1 surround, and no extras.

The Verdict

They went that way, officer.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 60

Perp Profile

Studio: Echo Bridge Home Entertainment
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)
• None
Running Time: 92 Minutes
Release Year: 2009
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
• Action
• Crime
• Drama

Distinguishing Marks

• None


• IMDb

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