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Case Number 26673: Small Claims Court

Buy Home Alone: Holiday Heist at Amazon

Home Alone: Holiday Heist

Fox // 2012 // 90 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // December 12th, 2013

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All Rise...

Judge David Johnson was left home alone and he totally trashed the place.

The Charge

Deck the halls with holiday fun!

The Case

When Finn Baxter (Christian Martyn) and his family move to Maine, he realizes that there's going to be some serious getting-used-to at their new venue. An introvert to begin with, Finn will indulge in his paranoia when he gets the idea his house his haunted. As a kid with no friends and an addiction to video games, his interpersonal skills have taken a hit, which leads him to this deranged fear about ghosts inhabiting his house (even though he's like 12 years old or something).

Despite his parents' patronizing and his sister's insulting, Finn carries on, outfitting his house with inventive deterrents for poltergeists. But his pathology will come in handy when a gang of thieves target his house for burglary. Led by a villain named Sinclair (Malcolm McDowell), the thieves descend on the house and, well, you know the rest: a whole lot of slapstick pseudo-violence perpetrated on halfwits.

I don't suppose it will come as a surprise to anyone reading this, but Home Alone: Holiday Heist is not very good. Then again, it delivers on precisely what one would expect from these movies: a precocious child somehow out-maneuvering professional criminals to hit them in the nose with paint cans.

Admittedly, I haven't tracked this franchise very closely, but what I have seen of it, it's pretty clear that the quality of product has fallen off a good bit since that first installment utterly torched the box office all those years ago. Holiday Heist attempts to capitalize on that fleeting credibility—and pretty much flushes it.

I'm not expecting Home Alone movies to make much sense (just think about the first one for a bit; no, really think about it), but this one goes out of its way to take a steamer on my intelligence. Not only are these crooks even dumber and less coordinated than any others, everyone else in the film appears to be just as moronic. My favorite part: the dad falling prey to one of Finn's ghost traps, a remote Taser set up that sends hundreds of volts through him. And the dad gets up and right away consoles his son. What in the…

Worse, the kid is an unlikable loser. He moans and groans to his family, irritates his older sister, and, yes, electrocutes his father. I guess we're supposed to feel for him and his self-imposed isolation from civil society, but any sympathy is consistently squandered when he chooses to do yet more annoying things. This little puke is exactly the kind of kid I don't want my son to grow up to be. Well, this and the evil runt from the other Macaulay Culkin movie.

Nothing going on with this DVD: 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, Dolby 5.1 surround, and no extras.

The Verdict

Guilty. Listen to Biden, kid, and just get yourself a shotgun.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 60

Perp Profile

Studio: Fox
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)
• English (SDH)
• French
• Spanish
Running Time: 90 Minutes
Release Year: 2012
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
• Comedy
• Crime
• Family
• Television

Distinguishing Marks

• None


• IMDb

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