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Case Number 13876: Small Claims Court

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Hookers In Revolt

Full Circle Filmworks // 2008 // 90 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // June 20th, 2008

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All Rise...

Judge David Johnson thinks that is hookers ever did revolt and go on strike, the term "scabs" would be wholly appropriate.

The Charge

These hoes mean business. (Their words)

The Case

Bear with me here. Oh, and let me warn you ahead of time, don't expect much depth of insight as I'm still not entirely sure how the series of moving images, f-words, and boobs add up to a cohesive storyline. Here's the best I can do: a group of hookers decide that the current pimp system that has been such a beloved mainstay in the industry for years. They don't like the rough physical treatment, the verbal abuse, the unfair compensation and the overall lack of respect. So they decide to ditch their pimps and join together in a ho-powered commune. But their anointed leader, a girl named Cleopatra soon finds out it's not easy being in charge of a group of ill-tempered prostitutes. Meanwhile, there's a pair of crooked cops running around beating up pimps and coercing the girls into having sex. And then the girls end up in a dungeon wearing leather, taping electrodes to bare nipples? I don't know.

This is my second tryst with the creative forces behind "Full Circle Filmworks," and while I don't want to begrudge anyone their creative due and can appreciate someone's love for making movies, I have to tell you, this is nonsensical hooey.

When you boot up this disc here's exactly what you can expect: lots and lots and lots of women clad in tight, revealing clothing talking to each other, some pimps exchanging curse words and frequently using the word "bitches," a couple of cop guys punching people in the stomach and the occasional soft-core sex scene. And of course leather-clad, bare-breasted females with electrodes on their nipples.

Again, I don't know.

So you take these sequences and you cram them all together and I suppose you just hope that it all somehow makes sense, but it never does and, worse, a movie called Hookers in Revolt fails to even entertain inadvertently. It can't even hit that coveted "so-bad-it's-good" sweet spot, the last stand for hapless movies of this ilk. It's just banal dialogue and sporadic nudity set to an unending, infuriating bass loop.

Dodgy, handheld camcorder full frame and passable 2.0 stereo join a gag reel for an underwhelming disc.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 40

Perp Profile

Studio: Full Circle Filmworks
Video Formats:
• Full Frame
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Subtitles:
• None
Running Time: 90 Minutes
Release Year: 2008
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• Bad
• Drama

Distinguishing Marks

• Gag Reel
• Trailer

Accomplices

• IMDb








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