Judge David Johnson lives in a house of the damned. He got it cheap, with one of those Damned Mortgages.
Damn this house!
Our adventure begins with an elderly man enduring a coughing fit and warning a guy that "she's evil" and a woman—-presumably the "she"—busts out of a closet and bludgeons him to the death with a hammer while the old guy screams his lungs out. Fast-forward an unknown amount of time and a mother and daughter who look about five years apart, are consoling each other over the enduring loss of the hammer-man. Apparently a woman from way back when had a witch cast an evil spell on her or something and to preserve her youth she has to sacrifice her daughter on her 21st birthday or something.
Now it's time for young Liz to face the fact that her mom is an accursed she-devil and she's angling to smite her before midnight, to keep the mad curse going on. And did I mention all of this awesomeness takes place in a house that happens to be damned? Too bad for Liz's friends who are about get smoked by evil spirits. So Liz has to follow some convoluted instructions about reading a magic scroll backwards and forcing the evil spirits to kill her mom and send her soul to Hell and I can't do this anymore.
This is my third and final go-round with the folks at Full Circle Filmworks, and having already suffered through two nonsensical releases, it is an understatement to say I went into this one with even a molecule of high expectations. And House of the Damned didn't disappoint. Or rather it did. Look, all I'm trying to say is "it was another sucky, low grade, homemade movie and I wish I had back the 60 minutes it took me to watch it, so maybe I could, I don't know, take a nap or something."
But, I will say this much: as lame as it was, it's the best of the three, easily dwarfing Hookers in Revolt and Lust for Vengeance. That's less a nice sentiment about House of the Damned and more a sad commentary on Hookers in Revolt and Lust for Vengeance. See, what pushes this film over the others is the fact that it made sense. Not a whole lot of sense, but while I was watching I thought I had a pretty good idea of what the director was trying to tell me. There's this woman who's an evil princess from long ago and she has to kill her daughter, but her daughter can reverse the curse by casting a spell that will make her got to Hell. It's all horribly executed, sure, but I was with it. Plus, the acting is so horrendous that there is camp value to be had.
Camcorder-quality full frame, scratchy 2.0 stereo, a making-of featurette, a bonus short film, and that's your DVD. Thus brings another sad chapter of my life to a merciful end.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Full Circle Filmworks
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