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Case Number 27340: Small Claims Court

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Independence Daysaster

Anchor Bay // 2013 // 90 Minutes // Rated PG-13
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // May 16th, 2014

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All Rise...

Judge Johnson is a Davesaster.

The Charge

The battle for Earth begins.

The Case

It was just a regular day. Until the aliens came. Giant metal ball bearings of death and fire, laying waste to the ecosystem. People vaporized. Fighter jets blown out of the sky. Whole cities reduced to ash.

Worse: The President (Tom Everett Scott, Enemies Closer) has gone missing, presumable shot down while tooling around in his helicopter. With no one left to lead, the slightly-deranged and wholly incompetent vice president assumes commands and promptly makes a series of bad decisions that lead to more death and destruction and very little impact on the stature of the enemy.

Never fear, because somewhere out there (SPOILER: a barn) is a band of precocious adolescents (Ryan Merriman, Pretty Little Liars; Andrea Brooks, Supernatural; Emily Holmes, Meteor Storm) who also happen to be computer geniuses and working with the not-really-that-dead-after-all president. They've figured out a way to…do something. I can't recall the particulars, but it involved missiles.

I just filed my review for the pretty-terrible Poseidon Rex, but I'd gladly sit through that another five times before taking Independence Daysaster for an additional spin. Setting aside the embarrassing pun title (which is par for the course for these Syfy originals) there isn't a remotely entertaining molecule to be found in the runtime.

Trust me, I looked. Plucky millennial know-it-alls have grown more than grating and President Tom Everett Scott brings the energy of a haddock fillet to his performance. Meanwhile, Vice President Evil is hilariously malicious and, despite human existence hanging in the balance, his dumbass decisions continuously go unchecked by his trusted advisors.

The lone compliment I can conjure: these guys don't shy away from letting the alien attack action play out on screen. However, what I reward in boldness I am sorry to say I have to deduct for execution. Yeah, budget constraints, etc., but yikes these visual effects are rough. Even through the aliens are pretty much flying Alpo cans, they appear to be rendered with an abacus.

Your DVD: 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, Dolby 5.1 Surround, no extras.

You remember that scene in Independence Day where the dog jumps in slow motion to get out of the way of the fireball? Well…yeah, that's the worst thing ever put on film, but Independence Daysaster still blows.

The Verdict

Guilty!

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 40

Perp Profile

Studio: Anchor Bay
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)
Subtitles:
• English (SDH)
• Spanish
Running Time: 90 Minutes
Release Year: 2013
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13
Genres:
• Action
• Bad
• Science Fiction

Distinguishing Marks

• None

Accomplices

• IMDb








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