What have I done to deserve this?
Jay Jay is a jet plane. He is blue. He likes to fly in the sky. He has a friend named Snuffy. He is a plane. He has a friend named Herky. He is a helicopter. Tracy is also Jay Jay's friend. She is a plane. Big Jake is a plane that helps Jay Jay. Savannah is a supersonic jet. She is also Jay Jay's friend. Jay Jay also has a very old friend named Old Oscar. He is a bi-plane. All of Jay Jay's friends like to fly in the sky. They all live in Terrytown. It is a nice place. It is very pretty there. A woman named Brenda Blue works at the Terrytown airport. She helps Jay Jay and his friends. She is very nice. They all have many adventures together. They teach kids valuable lessons about life, science and nature. On this DVD, Jay Jay and his friends learn about Thanksgiving. They learn about Christmas. They learn about winter, spring, summer and fall.
The audience learns the meaning of the phrase "death wish…".
Jay Jay the Jet Plane is so sickeningly saccharine that viewers should monitor their blood sugar for signs of diabetic coma after watching it. This simplistic and redundant tripe, with its supposed lessons, is aimed directly at the fetal stage of development with images out of a psychedelic preschool picture book. Apparently, this kind of "overkill masked as spoon-feeding" is popular with zygotes everywhere. The material is obviously not aimed at adults, but one does have to consider if it was even intended for humans. It is so bland, so boring and faux bouncy in its drippy drone that pediatricians must prescribe it as an antidote to ADD, night terrors, and immature bladder. The musical numbers are perfect for brain washing and rinsing, formulated to waft by unspectacularly and yet remain embedded in the child's frontal lobes until their future retirement from the fish-gutting factory. Jay Jay and his pals shriek like hyperactive cheetahs, and the plots are the typically tired "young talking airplanes in jeopardy" formula. Do you want to know what the ultimate evil is to Jay Jay and his pals? The terrible Satan? The five headed hydra? Snow. That's right. Frozen water. Seems like whenever something great or exciting is about to happen, or somebody needs something or is in trouble, it's blizzard time! While it's clear from the package that this disc is geared toward that usually non-commercialized time of year known as X-mas, does someone, somewhere opening a Fresca have to cause Jay Jay and the gang this much grief?
The DVD package from Columbia TriStar is truly a Technicolor dreamscape. The transfer for all five episodes is outstanding. There are plenty of bright shiny colors to keep baby's infantile brain firing on all ten billion synapses until the juice box kicks in. The sound offers a standard mix, with no special surround or Dolby issues to get in the way of the merchandising. The disc also offers extra like Sing-a-longs (so you can read as well as hear how juvenile and arched the lyrics are) educational "Think About" moments (think about…why the fudge you bought this disc) and an intermittent "Fun Facts" feature that is really neither. Supposedly, DVD-ROM games are included, but they were not reviewed on advice of psychologists. There is even a "continuous" play feature, allowing you to sit junior down in front of the glass teat, fire up the DVD player, and lull him or her directly into an aneurysm. Actually, that is harsh. Parents should look at the number given to the review and double it. Jay Jay the Jet Plane: Lessons for All Seasons is innocuous and mundane. It takes any fun that could possibly be had at watching airplanes eat turkey and decorate Christmas trees and homogenizes it to the point of weightlessness. It may be a decent babysitter, or way for the young 'uns to pass the time, but with so many other, better products out there, Jay Jay suffers from serious jet lag by comparison.
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