Judge David Johnson hates his life.
Our review of Just Go With It (Blu-ray), published June 7th, 2011, is also available.
Sometimes a guy's best wingman is a wingwoman.
If you happened to catch the trailer for Just Go With It during the film's nanosecond theatrical run, and have ever seen a hack Hollywood romcom before in your life, you will have no doubt already mapped out this miserable experience plays out.
Facts of the Case
The film opens with young Danny Maccabee (Adam Sandler, Grown Ups) about to get a married when he discovers that his soon-to-be-wife is cheating on him, so he takes off and from that point on adopts the moronic and douchey tactic of picking up trampy girls in bars using his old wedding ring. Fast forward a bunch of years and Danny is a successful plastic surgeon still slumming around as a creepy old bachelor. One day he meets a stunning beauty named Palmer (Brooklyn Decker) and the two immediately share a spiritual connection (i.e., they fornicate on a beach).
Unfortunately, she finds his ring and Danny is forced to concoct a BS story about having an estranged wife. To flesh out the lie, Danny enlists his loyal assistant Katherine (Jennifer Aniston, The Breakup) to pretend to be his wife and next thing you know, the script has everyone including Katherine's kids heading to Hawaii to waste a bunch of time until the ending we all know is coming finally arrives.
Nothing that happens in Just Go With It would transpire in the real world. Or at least the world we all occupy. Tron: Legacy features plot points more grounded in reality than this hokum.
For starters, Danny, caught with his wedding ring, opts for the most convoluted, ridiculous explanation. He scrambles to come up with a lie to Palmer about a failed marriage and it's painfully obvious that it's a lie but Palmer buys it despite the fact that she—and the script—established not a handful of scenes ago that she has knack for spotting liars. The fiction only grows more and more ridiculous as Katherine's kids are dragged into it and they have crazy accents and Nick Swardson plays another guy named Dolph Lundgren and he has a crazy accent and it just gets more and more ridiculous…and, apparently, Palmer is suffering from a low-grade brain bleed because she has no idea what is happening around her.
All of this crap could have been avoided if Danny either a) just told the truth and hoped for the best, or b) told a lie that made sense, like his fake wife died and he carried her ring around as a memory. But that would mean we wouldn't have this movie, which of course means we wouldn't experience the true point of these 116 minutes: boosting Jennifer Aniston's physical self-image.
Now I have nothing personal against her, besides the fact that her movies are waking nightmares, but it's pretty obvious and ridiculous how hard the writers have worked to boost her sexy factor. There are some jokes here and there about her being "hot" and "old," but any self-deprecation is overwhelmed about gratuitous slow-motion walks of Hot Jen after a makeover or Hot Jen in a tiny bikini swimming in a tropical pool or Hot Jen gyrating in a hula contest with Nicole Kidman.
And that was actually the most entertaining aspect of the whole thing, trying to guess when the next lingering shot of Jennifer Aniston's cleavage was going to hit the screen. Actually, you could turn that into a drinking game, that way you'd be so plastered by the end of this garbage you won't have to witness the implausible and predictable finale.
The DVD: 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen, 5.1 Dolby Digital, deleted scenes, a gag reel, some bland making-of featurettes and commentary with the cast and director where they appear to be fairly pleased with the horror they unleashed upon the world.
Is this review done yet?
Guilty. Just go with it, only if "it" means drop-kicking this disc
into a blast furnace.
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