Judge Daryl Loomis brings a spork with him to every doctor's visit.
You look delicious.
Misty Mundae (The Erotic Diaries of Misty Mundae), within a few short years, has built herself to an unlikely level of cult fandom. By having starred in some of the worst, cheapest films ever seen and without some of the assets of a Julie Strain (Heavy Metal), she can attend any horror convention anywhere and hurt her wrist signing autographs. People I know, who are absolutely not fans of Z-grade genre films, have heard of her, and not just from me. By going way over the line of good taste without ever veering into hardcore, her girl-next-door charms can appeal to a wide audience. Now acting under the name Erin Brown, she has sold the rights to her original moniker and has begun appearing in more mainstream, but still low-budget, efforts. Here we have two films with the biggest star in the history of Factory 2000 at her worst, playing a girl and her twin sister in a double feature of "Cannibal Fetish" films.
Facts of the Case
Cannibal Doctor: A nubile young girl (Mundae) shows up at a doctor's office inquiring about a secretary position. There's a job, alright; one look at her and she's hired. She finds out that all her duties weren't in the ad, though, when the doctor (William Hellfire, Building a Better Zombi, who also directed) requires an examination before she can start working. He takes her into the office and, while she can appreciate his thoroughness, she does find it odd how much time he's taking to massage her legs. Quickly, the girl realizes that she's actually being tenderized; she's the main course in a sumptuous feast for the doctor's flesh-hungry wife (Tina Krause, Blood and Sex Nightmare).
Dinner for Two: Mundae is back again as the original girl's twin sister, who was also told that there's this great job at this little doctor's office. You can guess what happens from here. This is exactly the same as Cannibal Doctor with the addition of some tickle torture to keep things moving.
The films that have come from Factory 2000, a DIY recording studio turned DIY film studio, have never been good. Devoid of any story, acting, or sense of style, their projects are exercises in what a group of oddballs can do given a camera and a little free time. Eschewing all taste, this group crosses line after line and laughs all the way. In this Kinky Cannibal Double Feature, we have their attempts at cannibal fetish films, a niche genre to be sure.
The plot that's here is only a skeleton that exists to give the doctor an excuse to paw on Misty Mundae. She briefly asks if this style of examination is normal for secretaries, and his assurance that he must have healthy workers is good enough for her. He's a detail-oriented doctor and must know the size and dimension of every part of her, from head to toe. This takes a long time, of course, so there is little time to dwell on plot or character. All we really know is that Misty's not bright, the doctor is a wiener, and his wife bullies him into cooking young women for her. They keep it short, I suppose but, since the sequel is nearly an identical movie, keeping it short twice makes it pretty long. The introduction of tickle torture adds a little amusement to the sequel, but not enough to excuse making the same movie twice.
The acting doesn't fare any better than the plotting, no doubt, but is seems that they cared even less about their performances than they did about their stories. There are multiple scenes where the actors, especially Mundae, start laughing at the lines they're saying; they're clearly not trying at all. Misty Mundae has gotten better over the years, but she's at her worst in these early films, barely able to follow doctor's orders without cracking up. She looks good in a schoolgirl outfit, but that's about it. At best, they are trying to emulate John Waters' early films, and say as much in interviews in the booklet that comes with the set, but fail miserably at that, too. Female Trouble may have had really bad acting and an insane plot, but Waters' films also had absurd humor and an innate, if tacky, sense of style. These films are exercises in bad taste and nothing more.
After Hours Cinema has done very little to improve on Factory 2000's already dismal cannibal double feature. As cheap as the films are, these transfers look even worse. They appear to have had an unfixable tracking problem, either with their video camera, in the editing room, or with the transfer. The bottom of the screen in both films is jagged and it looks terrible. There isn't much to hear from the actors, but it's hard to hear them when they do speak. No effort went into these DVDs at all. The only extra is a huge cache of trailers for Misty Munae's films (boy, she's been in a lot of awful movies) and written interviews with Mundae and Krause about the films and their experience with Factory 2000, overwhelmingly positive on both counts.
The Rebuttal Witnesses
Judging the acting and filmmaking skill is really missing the point of these cannibal films. We don't get to see the couple eat her in the end; it's a massage movie as much as anything. For this, it's just fine. There is a group of people out there who are into this fantasy and, while I don't know if these films are made for them in any way, the attempt to make films in the style is totally successful. Plus, the tickle torture in Dinner for Two is a weird, but very funny, addition for the sequel, and their method for cooking the girls (an X-Ray machine) is totally absurd.
There are plenty of reasons to like the folks at Factory 2000, who have gone far beyond these films in bad taste plenty of times. It's too bad these movies aren't more watchable, but I'm glad there are people making crazy movies in their basements and finding ways to get them distributed. I just wish they'd gotten better at it over the years.
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Scales of Justice, Cannibal Doctor
Perp Profile, Cannibal Doctor
Studio: After Hours Cinema
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Scales of Justice, Dinner For Two
Perp Profile, Dinner For Two
Studio: After Hours Cinema
Distinguishing Marks, Dinner For Two
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