All Rise...

Judge David Johnson is sour on the Kratts.

The Charge

Saving the planet with creature power.

The Case

Look here, hippie parents. Your kids might like these animated animal adventures, but regardless of what indigenous weed your shoes are made of, I'd be shocked if you could stomach these faux-hip, too-excited-to-not-be-mainlining-a-controlled-substance Kratt Brothers running around nature and belting out wannabe cool one-liners that would be laughed at on the set of Legends of the Hidden Temple in 1994.

Wild Kratts: Creature Adventures episodes start in live-action as our hosts, Martin and Chris Kratt eagerly introduce the animal of the episode, before rolling around in mud and pseudo-groping whatever poor creature was selected for the week's show. Then the shows transitions into a cartoon with the Kratts taking on their animated personas, a pair of happy-go-lucky nature specialists who look about 20 pounds lighter than they did in the real world.

In cartoon land, the Kratt brothers wear Creature Power Suits, which allows them to use "amazing animal abilities" to do things like surf and kayak. There are also villains of the week they have to face, my favorite being a pale, goth scientist who captures animals and turns them into robots and forces them to dig his swimming pool. Yes, it's a straight-up Dr. Robotnik rip-off.

To help fight the forces of evil—and learn about animals too!—the Kratts have a group of equally hip friends who live in the Kratts' headquarters, a high-tech biodome. Each show focuses on a particular animal and in between jaunts in the home base and the requisite bad guy face-off, we get loads of biology info.

Two discs, ten episodes:

• "Mom of a Croc"
• "Whale of a Squid"
• "Aardvark Town"
• "Flight of the Draco"
• "Mystery of the Squirmy Wormy"
• "Platypus Café"
• "Build it Beaver"
• "Voyage of the Butterflier XT"
• "Honey Seekers"
• "Bass Class"

The DVD: 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, 2.0 stereo, no extras.

The Verdict

Their boundless enthusiasm will appeal to kids—especially kids who love large-mouthed bass—but the Kratts make me want to punch my head in with a monitor lizard corpse.

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