All Rise...

Judge David Johnson is a Kung Fu Lover.

The Charge

Adventure with a vengeance.

Opening Statement

Great title. Disposable movie.

Facts of the Case

The immortal David Carradine (Kill Bill: Volume 2) headlines this period action film about the vengeance quest of a washed-up American kung fu disciple named White Crane who infiltrates an opium syndicate with the express purpose of punching dudes in the nose. See, these drug dealers raided Crane's gated community of kung fu nuts, killed a bunch of innocents, and brought upon themselves a half a loaf of Carradine hellfire.

In Shanghai, Crane meets up with a cabaret singer (Daryl Hannah, Blade Runner) who sings and that's about it. Crane ingratiates himself with the druglords, waiting for his time to pounce and unsheathe his sword with much fanfare.

The Evidence

That sword unsheathing is the highlight of what is otherwise a thoroughly mediocre made-for-TV affair. On DVD, the bloodletting has obviously been boosted, because when the violence hits, sword, fist and otherwise, there's a surprising amount of gore. Chopped off limps, stabbings, arterial sprays and an especially goopy boulder bludgeoning make for probably the bloodiest TV-turned-DVD feature I've seen.

And even though it's only been a day since I've seen this thing, the bloodshed is pretty much the only thing that sticks in my mind. The Shanghai 1929 setting is eye candy and it's a period that is custom-made for interesting storytelling, but the simple revenge plot is forgettable. There might have been something to the clash of the old world and the new and so on and so forth, but it was muddied up in a haze of needless characterization and a slow pace.

Carradine is OK, doing the same role he's done since he was five, though his character's action scenes are a jumble of close-ups and pullbacks featuring an obvious stunt double. The guy just isn't the physical powerhouse anymore. Daryl Hannah serves little other purpose than occupying the requisite female role.

I've got nothing else to add, really. The film is well done and staged with better-than-average panache and Carradine is a cool customer, but the excessive bloodshed isn't enough to rescue Kung Fu Killer from the abyss of mediocrity.

The simplest of DVDs from Genius: a clean 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen and a 2.0 stereo mix are joined by zero extras.

Closing Statement

My biggest disappointment is that we likely won't see the title "Kung Fu Killer" used again because of this movie.

The Verdict

Guilty. Hi-nah!

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