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Case Number 27087: Small Claims Court

Buy Last Stand of the 300 and other famous Greek battles at Amazon

Last Stand of the 300 and other famous Greek battles

History Channel // 2004 // 266 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // March 15th, 2014

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All Rise...

Judge David Johnson named his dog Thermopylae. It poops in narrow columns.

Editor's Note

Our review of Last Stand Of The 300, published July 5th, 2007, is also available.

The Charge

Buff history buffs.

The Case

I have to think that being the person in charge of putting together the History Channel DVD release calendar has to be a pretty sweet gig. All you have to do is take a gander at the Hollywood release schedule, pinpoint some macho action movie that has a loose tie to real history and hit the History vault!

So here we are just in time for 300: Rise of an Empire and History has sent out a collection of all things Greek! Three discs, six specials:

• "Last Stand of the 300"
• "Decisive Battles: Marathon"
• "Decisive Battles: Thermopylae"
• "Troy: The Passion of Helen"
• "Battles BC: Judgment Day at Marathon"
• "Battles BC: Alexander: Lord of War"

Each special clocks in at about 45 minutes and offers a mixture of various Greek engagements. With 300: Rise of an Empire set to drop, it's all Greek all the time and though some material is overlapping here (Marathon and Thermopylae in particular get two specials each) there's enough of a difference—at the very least in quality of execution. Case in point: those "Decisive Battles" specials are memorable because of the sweet proto-CGI used to dramatize the epic battles. We're talking N64 levels of awfulness here, with blocky polygon soldiers moving in perfect unison taking on assorted gobs of jaggies. The unfortunate side effect: the horrible visual effects distract from the legit knowledge being dropped.

Subsequent specials are more recent and their effects are noticeably improved, in fact assuming much of the look and style of the original 300; better CGI, slow-motion and blood splatter effects everywhere.

If the subject matter grabs you then go for it. There's dated technology here, but it's pretty hilarious and the info is top-shelf. Grab some popcorn and your favorite Hoplites and indulge.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 80

Perp Profile

Studio: History Channel
Video Formats:
• Full Frame
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
• None
Running Time: 266 Minutes
Release Year: 2004
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
• Documentary
• Historical
• Television

Distinguishing Marks

• None


• IMDb

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