Judge David Johnson takes a double-pumped shotgun blast to the brain stem, courtesy of this '80s trash.
Just when you thought it where the girls was safe to go on dying for a good time on a vacation!!!
One disc. Two horrible '80s slasher films. Three brain cells left standing.
Facts of the Case
VCI gives you, the hapless viewer, a one-two punch to the skull with two extraordinarily crappy, bottom-budget exercises in pain, masquerading as horror movies.
• Terror at Tenkiller
However, not everything is kosher on Tenkiller Lake (surprising, given its soft and fluffy name), as a deranged killer is on the loose, slitting people's throats. Not much is left to the imagination, since the killer is revealed early on as a jeans-clad yokel with a thing for murdering while proselytizing.
• The Last Slumber Party
Unfortunately, a mental escapee with a scalpel is on the loose, seeking vengeance on the doctor that committed him, It is a path littered with bodies that will take him right to…the last slumber party!!!
Let's start off with the universal attributes of both movies, then delve into them individually. First, they both suck. Real hard. Each movie has a very short runtime, yet both seem to go on for an epoch or two. The acting is on par with my Sunday School presentation of the Nativity from years ago, told from the point of view of the shepherds' sheep (that's true). And on the Scary Spectrum, the flicks lands solidly between reading a Goosebumps book and shopping for groceries. Now on to the specifics:
Terror at Tenkiller
The insipid title should act as a warning to those who blunder into this dopey movie. Destined to be shuffled off into the void where its brethren, the nameless, generic slasher flicks of the '80s, are eternally doomed to dwell, Terror at Tenkiller is about as terrifying as clipping your toenails. The killings are vague, and few and far between, and the villain is a misogynist redneck who looks more like the foreman of your local construction company than a figure of dread.
And the movie is boring. To get to the "slasher" the audience is forced to endure the "film;" and kids, it ain't pretty. Suffering through an hour and change of two women sharing their feelings and grumbling about boyfriends is the most horrific part of the movie; a miserable hybrid between a Lifetime original movie and a dry heave. And wait until you get to the ending. Talk about ripping off another well-known '80s slasher franchise.
The Last Slumber Party
It's the stultifying "stalker vs. shrieking girls" shtick minus the nudity and gore one would have expected from a slumber party massacre movie. Three idiotic women fraternizing with equally moronic guys, chaperoned by the absolute dumbest parents ever churned out of the parent factory.
Watch as a dad walks into his house, knowing there's a psychopath running around, spots a ladder leading against his daughter's window, and thinks nothing of it! Or how about the killer's M.O.? Slowly bringing his scalpel across the throat of his victims as they sit there, still, with wide eyes and an open mouth, resigned to the fact they are being murdered. And certainly don't bank on a shred of closure in this celluloid hemorrhoid; the filmmakers go for a blatant cop-out. At least The Last Slumber Party retains value as an object of derision. Flush with gaffes, logic holes (at one point a girl being pursued by the killer walks past the front door, gives it a look, and moves forward into the house as if to say "Sure, that would make sense to leave, but I'm a tool!"), ludicrous blood effects, and atrocious acting.
Both films look awful, mainly because they were originally shot on Z-grade film stock. The Last Slumber Party looks the worst by far, as it may have actually been shot on a home video camera. The sound is equally putrid; shallow and tinny in the stereo mix. No extra features.
Retro-horror trash, this double feature sports two forgettable slices of old-school hack-and-suck that should have been buried under Crystal Lake long ago—though there are some laughs to be had at their expense.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: VCI Home Video
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