The Charge

Cheese and Bratz.

The Case

The Bratz are a group of fashion-conscious, make-up-laden, borderline whorish girls named Cloe, Sasha, Yasmin, and Jade. When they're not belting out all types of regurgitated pseudo-bubblegum pop in their band, the girls grapple with hard-hitting life issues like eyeliner application, choosing which metrosexual preteen boy they want to ask to the school dance, and balancing the demands of pre-algebra with walking in platform shoes without tipping over.

The usual Bratz fare is a straightforward animated half-hour, where the girls find themselves entwined in a series of misadventure ripped from the pages of Cosmo Jr.. Livin' it Up turns that formula on its head, and blasts out of the gates as an interactive storybook, not unlike a "choose your own adventure" kind of deal.

The disc is divided into a bunch of interactive features, all dependent on your skill with the remote. Yeah, by the way, if your DVD remote is broken for some reason, don't buy this DVD. FYI. Anywho, the main attraction is the story mode, which actually features two paths: one has Chloe is faced with the prospect of putting on a school show and the other finds Yasmin tasked with publishing the school yearbook. Your task, noble Bratz watcher, will be to guide the girls' decision-making process with your remote, selecting from choices given by on-screen cues.

The story element is actually pretty short, with only a few chapters and choices devoted to the two tales. You'll have exhausted all the options within about 30 minutes. But if you thought that was all there was to these Bratz, you were wrong. The producers have loaded the discs with a slew of extra, interactive activities that will easily consume many, many minutes:

• "Bratz Quiz"
Answer this batch of questions, and you'll find out which Brat you're most like. I'm so Chloe…

• "Photoshoot"
It's up to you to pick your fave Bratz fashions and capture them with this picture-taking game.

• "Bratzline"
Where these girls find time to run a radio helpline, I'll never know, but they've got one, and you can help solve callers' problems. Three Bratz girls, with two possible callers each = way too much talking about lip gloss.

• "3 Wishes"
This one came out of left field. A couple of the Bratz stumble upon a magic lamp and are offered three wishes. You pick the wishes and the entertainment unfolds!

That's the meat of the release. My view of the Bratz: they suck. This is probably the worst piece of mainstream kids animation I've seen. And even though the interactivity of the DVD gets a nod for creativity, it doesn't nullify the fact that these girls are simply vapid, shallow CGI hoochie-mamas. All I know is, if I had a daughter, I wouldn't let her near one of these DVDs for fear she would end up in midriff-baring tops and a hair-style so thoroughly soaked in Aquanet, she couldn't stand within 200 feet of an open flame. I'll take five Doras over one Brat.

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