All Rise...

If Judge David Johnson had as dog as obnoxious as Loopdidoo, he would no doubt be brought up on charges of animal neglect.

The Charge

Loopiness, laughter and little life lessons.

The Case

Well, sign me up then!

Loopdidoo tells the tales of Loopdidoo, a dog with a round body and tiny legs, and his 5-year-old owner Petunia. The two spend all their time together, getting into fun-filled adventures that are both filled with fun and adventuresome.

• "Wet Paint"
Petunuia and Loopdidoo decide to paint their clubhouse and it's fun and all until it rains and paint dribbles into the field and no doubt has an irreversible ecological impact on the local flora and fauna.

• "Chef's Surprise"
Loopdidoo is consumed with desire when he sees a cake that Petunia's mom made for her tea party. So Loopdidoo decides to make a cake—with predictably disastrous results.

• "The Party"
Loopdidoo and Petunia party hard one night, where they break a lamp and befriend a lonely lightning bug.

• "A Smokin' Idea"
After screwing around with a plugged-in iron, Loopdidoo learns the perils of heats and third-degree burns.

• "The End of the World"
Bored of walking around the house, Petunia and Loop decide to "go to the end of the world" and embark on a hyper-speed downhill journey on a tricycle.

• "Grumble Bee"
Loopdidoo's shenanigans and the wily cunning of the neighborhood cat leads to a killer bee swarm.

• "Spring Cleaning"
Loopdidoo cleans his doghouse with mom's T-shirt. Idiot.

• "Just What the Doctor Ordered"
When he injures his paw raiding the fridge, Loopdidoo begs Petunia not to call mom so Petunia plays doctor and amazingly doesn't kill her dog.

• "The Crazy Kite"
So there's this kite…and it's crazy!

• "High and Dry"
The kids and pets dare each other to go on a dangerous-looking ride made by a housecat.

• "No Swimming"
A heat wave hits and everyone is exhausted and they take turns trying to blow up an inflatable swimming pool.

• "Nonsense Network"
After failing to run electricity to their tree house, the friends decide to forgo television and play pretend instead.

"A Very Dangerous Cake"
So there's this cake…and it's dangerous.

The most important lesson I got out of this was that unsupervised children and pets will mess around with electricity and steal potentially deadly grown-up medicine to eat. The other lesson is that not all kiddie shows are created equal and Loopdidoo receives the dubious honor of being one the more annoying I've seen. Yes, even moreso than—shudder—Dora.

Every character is scratch-your-eyeballs-out-annoying, from Petunia that abrasive little girl that hurls verbal insults at her pets to her milquetoast best friend Basil to Loopdidoo himself, an intolerable pooch with a grating voice and a penchant for reeling off the lamest one-liners ever committed to children's animation.

"Now I know what a real hot dog feels like!"
"For a scrub, rinse and shampoo just call Loopdidoo!"
"It's not a rainbow, it's a paintbow!"

Goodness gracious, this show is an irritant. The lone saving merit is that the episodes are only five minutes long and will be over soon. Unfortunately, there are enough of them to fill 85 minutes. Have fun with that.

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