Judge David Johnson believes in love at first swill.
The future is unwritten, but the past is inescapable.
Harry (Noah Segan) is a cutting-edge artist whose paintings of cardboard boxes shockingly fail to bring him fame and fortune, so he's forced to live at home with his insane and controlling mother (Margot Kidder, Superman). Things look up when a sexy single mom moves next door and immediately starts walking around in low-cut blouses.
Harry is understandably transfixed by the boobage and the two strike up a smoldering affair, much to the consternation of his mother. While she and her best friend gripe about these lustful shenanigans over cards, Harry realizes that his erotic trysts may not be as baggage-free as possible: the ex-husband shows up. Now Harry has to deal with his mother's interference and a potentially violent confrontation with a jilted husband as well a series of mysterious dreams that always end in murder.
This forgotten relic from 2008 has been unearthed and its title changed from the bland The Box Collector to the red-hot sexy and nonsensical Love at First Kill. It's also received some edgy disc cover art with a woman dragging a body onto some railroad tracks. Flip the case over and you get to gaze at the lovely Belgian actress Lyne Renee, staring at you and teasing all manner of sexiness and mystery awaiting within the confines of the optical disc.
And that's about as much as I'll give it: Lyne Renee is indeed gorgeous, a MILF of epic proportions, and pretty much exactly the kind of bombshell you'd picture for a femme fatale type to move next door and drive your testes bonkers.
After Renee's sensuality, though, it's all downhill, straight to the Abyss of Forgotten Psychological Thrillers, and that, my friend, is a crowded abyss. Kidder gives it her all, but her character is so off-putting, the less she's on screen the better. And the side plot of her best friend and her snake-wrangling husband having marital difficulties is pointless and distracting.
The primary thrust is this affair and how it's driving Harry away from his mother, and this too ultimately fizzles. Mommy dearest just grumbles a lot and the estranged ex-husband poses no serious threat. This entire mess limps to the finish line where a convoluted and hard-to-digest twist ending pops up, rendering all that preceded it a profound waste of your time.
Bare-bones DVD: 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, 5.1 Dolby Digital, nothing else.
Guilty. Better luck with the next kill.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Anchor Bay
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