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Case Number 17403: Small Claims Court

Buy Blitzed By Menopause: A Guys Guide To Understanding Her Menopause at Amazon

Blitzed By Menopause: A Guys Guide To Understanding Her Menopause

Sweet Pea Productions // 2009 // 40 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // October 4th, 2009

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All Rise...

Judge David Johnson was blitzed by menopause, but he dropped out of the pocket in time to hit his slot receiver for 14 yards.

The Charge

A guy's guide to women's menopause.

The Case

I had no idea there was a market for this, but here you go, a complete package of light-hearted informational material designed to offers loads of menopause facts to guys too hapless to use Wikipedia. In fact, judging by the way the men are characterized in this production, the makers of Blitzed by Menopause must perceive husbands as possessing an IQ slightly higher than a soft shell tortilla. The poor woman playing the menopausal wife in the film has to endure living with a dude so boneheaded it's a wonder he didn't call for an exorcism after her first hot flash.

Thankfully, after storming off to the living room, exasperated by the fact that his wife is undergoing an biological change which may or may not lead to her entering a pupa stage and emerging two weeks later as a giant bug, he plops down on the couch, switches on the TV and…watches a selection of heavy-handed, hugely corny comedy sketches that describe the ins and outs of menopause with deliberation reserved for showing a three year-old how to button his pants. You got a pair of sportscasters and news anchors who crack wise, a home shopping network duo, some Patton-like guy standing in front of an American flag, and a stand-up "comic" who tells menopause jokes—an effort less memorable for the quality of the humor and more for the fact that there are actually menopause jokes.

Interwoven with these skits are clinical explanations delivered by professionals like Dr. Tori Hudson, a naturopathic physician (I have no idea what that is, but the words in her title are long enough to make me think she's worth listening to), and Jerry Annand, a marriage and relationship counselor. The next segment is a roundtable discussion group which eschews humor for a straight-arrow summit about relationship training, hosted by Annand. Leaving the best for last, Blitzed by Menopause finishes with a rap song called "Don't Touch Me!" about how menopausal women apparently would rather drive wood screws into their femurs than have sex with their husbands.

That's a whole lot of menopause content, plus the DVD is supplemented by a handful of booklets to add to your learning. While this is all fine and dandy, and can certainly be judged a success when measured with that rubric, but my big question is this: Who's the target audience? Obviously it's men, confused husbands more than likely, but what guy is going to endure the humiliation of buying this release? Can you imagine Blitzed by Menopause making a surprise appearance at poker night?

[Interior: Hank's living room]

Steve: Hank, I was looking through your video collection for Predator 2 and found this instead! Check it out!!

Other Male Friends: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

[Hank severs his femoral artery with his Visa debit card.]

I suppose the worried wife or girlfriend can pick this up, but wouldn't a heartfelt conversation be more productive and less emasculating? Then again, he'd miss out on that rap song, which everyone needs to see at least once before they die.

The DVD: 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen, 2.0 stereo, and some bonus footage complement the printed extras.

The Verdict

As far as breezy menopause videos go, not guilty.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 80

Perp Profile

Studio: Sweet Pea Productions
Video Formats:
• 1.85:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
• None
Running Time: 40 Minutes
Release Year: 2009
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
• Comedy
• Documentary

Distinguishing Marks

• Bonus Footage
• Booklets


• View the Trailer

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