All Rise...

Who would've thought that a judge like Dan Mancini would double as a superstar?

Editor's Note

Our reviews of Hannah Montana And Miley Cyrus: Best Of Both Worlds Concert (Blu-Ray) (published August 27th, 2008), Hannah Montana: Keeping It Real (published April 6th, 2009), Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best Of Both Worlds Concert (published August 19th, 2008), Hannah Montana: One In A Million (published January 26th, 2008), Hannah Montana: Pop Star Profile (published July 11th, 2007), and Hannah Montana: The Movie (Blu-Ray) (published August 18th, 2009) are also available.

The Charge

Random collection of over-priced TV show episodes say what?

The Case

Hannah Montana debuted on the Disney Channel in 2006 and almost instantly became an insanely popular cash cow for the House of Mouse. The show follows the adventures of Miley Stewart (Miley Cyrus, Bolt), a wisecracking teenage girl who, by slipping into a blond wig, becomes internationally known pop star Hannah Montana. Outside of her superstardom, Miley lives a relatively normal life in Malibu with her widower father Robby (Billy Ray Cyrus, Mulholland Drive) and brother Jackson (Jason Earles, National Treasure). Her friends Lilly (Emily Osment, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams) and Oliver (Mitchel Musso, Monster House) are the only other people who know her secret. The show's 22-minute episodes are a mix of zany one-liners, teen fashions, mundane family conflicts, common adolescent struggles, and Miley's wacky efforts to maintain her secret identity. In other words, Hannah Montana is a kind of musical superhero show for tween girls.

Hannah Montana: Miley Says Goodbye? is a haphazard collection of six episodes from throughout the show's third season (which inexplicably ran for 30 episodes from November, 2008 until March, 2010).

• "You Never Give Me My Money"
Miley learns a lesson about financial responsibility when her dad gives her $5,000 of her Hannah Montana money and allows her to open her own checking account.

• "Papa's Got a Brand New Friend"
Hannah wants to fire her overbearing new choreographer, but has trouble doing so when the choreographer saves Robby from a snake bite and becomes his best friend.

• "Promma Mia"
Miley agrees to go to the prom with nerdy Aaron, but dumps him so that Hannah can sing a duet with American Idol runner-up David Archuletta. Feeling guilty, she decides to try to make her date with Aaron.

• "He Could Be the One"
Miley has trouble telling her dad that she's back together with old flame Jake Ryan, star of the TV show Zombie High. Her convoluted scheme for breaking it to Robby as gently as possible involves leading on one of the dudes in Hannah's band.

• "Miley Says Goodbye" (Parts 1 and 2)
After recurring dreams about her beloved horse Blue Jeans, who lives in Tennessee, Miley must decide whether she wants to continue her glamorous career in Malibu or return to a simple life. After deciding to return to Tennessee, she feels guilty about leaving her best friend Lilly behind in California.

I wouldn't call watching Hannah Montana: Miley Says Goodbye? a soul-crushing experience, but I'm pretty sure I at least sprained something metaphysical. The jokes are smarmy, the haircuts are twee, the plots are barely coherent, and the teens are gratingly smart-mouthed (based on the crap he willingly puts up with from these twerps each and every episode, Billy Ray must be raking in major coin for his involvement in his daughter's show). But, honestly, who cares what I think? There's exactly zero chance that I'll be dropping by my local Target to pick up a Hannah Montana Trapper Keeper, tube of glittery lip gloss, or CD loaded with professionally written and carefully focus-grouped bubble gum pop tunes. Young girls love Hannah Montana and that's all that really matters. If you're a tween girl or the parent of a tween girl, you can rest assured that this disc contains a rock solid 135 minutes of Hannah Montana antics. If I were you, I'd be slightly annoyed that Disney is trying to sell me a collection of six random episodes from Season Three instead of a complete season box set. But that's just me. If you're cool with it, what do I care?

For a collection of episodes from a television season that began airing in 2008, Hannah Montana: Miley Says Goodbye? looks shockingly mediocre on DVD. The presentation is full frame (doesn't the show air on Disney HD?). The image is soft to the point of being fuzzy at times. Color reproduction is decent, though sometimes slightly overblown in the red-orange part of the spectrum. It's not a horrible transfer, but it doesn't look any better than a standard definition television broadcast. Audio is a serviceable Dolby stereo mix. The French and Spanish dubs, oddly enough, are presented in slightly more elaborate Dolby stereo surround mixes, though their overall quality is inferior to the English track.

Supplements are fairly thin. There's an alternate ending for "He Could Be the One" that runs 3 minutes. A Backstage Disney option offers a behind-the-scenes featurette hosted by Brandi Cyrus called "Sister Secrets" (8:06), and a silly trivia track for the "You Never Give Me My Money" episode. There are also educational promos for Disney Blu-rays and digital copies.

The Verdict

Sweet niblets, watching this disc hurt!

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