All Rise...

Judge David Johnson vacations every summer on Bikini Beach. He owns a timeshare. He likes bikinis.

The Charge

Monsters + bikinis + beaches + stupidity = this movie.

The Case

So, what are you expecting when you pop in a DVD called Monster from Bikini Beach put out by the "Trash Film Orgy" label? If you answered "Gee, how about a cheaply made movie with a ridiculous looking guy in a rubber suit menacing girls of middling attractiveness in ill-fitting bikinis!" then, well, I might have something for you.

On the aforementioned Bikini Beach, victims are turning up shredded to death by an unknown force. Actually, it's known pretty early by the viewing audience that a humongous lizard-thing is responsible for the killings. An enterprising reporter and a plucky wannabe journalist team up to get to the bottom of this creature feature. Meanwhile, an old undercover cop does something boring. All of this inaction eventually leads to major set-piece in the movie, a full-scale go-go dance massacre where the creature runs amok, tearing apart nubile, bikini-clad lady dancers.

As far as low-budget Z-movies go, Monster from Bikini Beach is OK. Nothing special for sure, but far from the most painful homegrown splatter comedy I've been exposed to. Let me just tick off some of the positives and call it a day:

• The creature.
The main attraction is definitely a cheesy display of creature creation and won't win any awards for FX work, but there's definitely something to be said for an old-school nod towards practical monster making. It's a lumbering green behemoth with a gigantic head that can deftly disembowel fleeing coeds, despite the fact it appears to have the mobility of a cement truck on rims.

• The humor.
OK, this movie isn't that funny, but it's not aggressively unfunny either. Many of these micro-budgeted horror/comedy affairs emphasize contrived slapstick and inside jokes and, well, a bunch of idiots that think they're incredibly hilarious trying way too hard. Monster from Bikini Beach has a nice touch about it, aided by actors who aren't super-annoying.

• The gore.
Aside from really lame CGI blood geysers, the gore in the film is fun. Lots of guts are ripped out and fake intestines hang loosely from wounds and there's a decapitation or two—not too shabby.

Finally, yes there is plenty of superfluous nudity, but it's less titillating and more used for comedic effect. For example, one hapless female victim is attacked by the monster, her swimsuit is ripped off, she stumbles around topless briefly and then her head is taken off (followed by said lame CGI blood geyser). See, ha ha! Bottom line: Monster from Bikini Beach is definitely stupid, but not the affront to God it could have been. No-frills disc: full frame, 2.0 stereo audio, no extras.

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