After the crow he had to eat for the Super Bowl, Judge Ryan Keefer consulted the only person who would listen to him in preparing this review.
I guess you can only keep a large-massed skull down for so long.
My Dearest Friend Satan,
I thought we were buddies and getting along well. You keep sending out your minions to do your work with such tasks as allowing our friend Jamie Kennedy to keep getting work in movies. The sequels to remakes of bad horror films are another one of your tasks that I marvel at. I do have to question your urge to take over the reins of the US Weekly publication, but that's neither here nor there.
But when you decided to have the Indianapolis Colts draft Tennessee quarterback Peyton Manning, I thought that this was another one of your masterpieces. You have the Colts draft Manning, where he would languish for years, always coming within sight of an appearance in the Super Bowl, but keeping it at arm's length for him. And for you to put together the New England Patriots like you did to help frustrate him even more, I couldn't ask for a more brilliant masterstroke!
And yet what on Earth (and Hell) happened during the 2006 Season? During points of the season, not only were the Colts not the best team in football, but they weren't even the best team in the American Football Conference. When it came to team performance, the San Diego Chargers were men among boys during the regular season, and their running back Ladainian Tomlinson was a touchdown machine, shattering a record that continues to grow. Oh wait, I almost forgot of your long-standing agreement with Marty Schottenheimer, I apologize. When the Chargers were shown the door rather early in the playoffs (at the hands of your Patriots), it seemed like the Colts' path to the Super Bowl was cleared for their first appearance in almost four decades.
On the opposite end of the field, the Colts matched up against the Chicago Bears, who were appearing in the game for the first time since 1985. And like in 1985, the staple of the Bears' success was defense, headed by Brian Urlacher and a coming star in Lance Briggs. Unlike 1985, where the Bears had perhaps the greatest running back in history in Walter Payton, the Bears' offense had Rex Grossman, a quarterback who…well, he's been injured a lot, and not given a chance to fully show off his wares. However, you did help them beat the New Orleans Saints, who were a year removed from Hurricane Katrina. Everyone rooted for the Saints, and the Bears smacked them down, good job!
So the Bears were against the Colts in Super Bowl XLI (which is roman numerals for Xtra Large One?) in Jacksonville. The game started out good enough; the Bears ran the opening kickoff back for a touchdown (the first such instance in history). Then the rain started coming down. Rain hampering the enjoyment of the Super Bowl and a Colts loss? Outstanding! Alas, it was not to be. While Manning managed to impress, the bigger star might easily have been the Colts defense, who continually forced Bears turnovers to help win the game for Indy and provide the jewel in a rapidly growing crown for Manning, and that's not just referring to his list of accomplishments.
So while this particular disciple may feel a little bit forsaken, rest assured I'm not completely bitter by the process. Even though I had to expose myself to watching this disc, NFL Films continues to produce quality results with these discs, allowing for a palatable mix of game footage, previously unseen sideline and locker room access and interview footage from the key players on the winning side. Overall, Colts fans should not hesitate to pick this up (and sitting beside the Colts installment of the Complete History series keeps things pretty complete for the Judge Rob Linebergers among you).
As for you, my prince of darkness, I take solace that you haven't completely departed this realm yet. You continue to give us the debacle that is who will inherit the Anna Nicole Smith fortune, and if that's not enough, Peyton's younger brother Eli (now playing quarterback for the New York Giants) is another sign that you haven't left us yet.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Warner Bros.
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