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Case Number 25954: Small Claims Court

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One Man War

RetroMedia // 1990 // 86 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // July 12th, 2013

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All Rise...

Judge David Johnson is just one man.

The Charge

They wanted a fight. They got a war.

The Case

In the heart of Macon County, the haves are pushing around the have-nots. What form is their oppression taking? There's only one answer: illegal toxic waste dump. The hapless townsfolk are powerless to curtail such diabolical pollution and even the authorities are crooked and unwilling to help.

That leaves only one man with the will and the horsepower to fight back: Cole Jackson (Dan Haggerty). Who is Cole Jackson? Only the baddest, beardedest mofo this side of the Wal-Mart DVD bargain bin. After years scratching out a living on the road, he comes back home, promptly gets shot, spends most of the runtime in a light coma, wakes up, shoots some dudes with a shotgun and calls it a day.

Yeah, this isn't nearly a good as that exceedingly well-written recap makes it sound. One Man War had the potential to be an under-the-radar gem, but that illusion was quickly dismissed after the first fifteen minutes, comprised entirely of Dan Haggerty sitting in a car and talking, then taking a tour of the farm. And it doesn't get any better.

Not even the time-honored plot of villains dumping green goop in the wilderness can do anything to prevent One Man War from turning into 90 minutes of tedium. And the only time we get a glimpse of anything even remotely war-related it's right at the end in the briefest of gunfights, culminating in the main bad guy falling face first on some toxic waste, which is both deliciously ironic and underwhelming in its face-melting prowess.

A nothing DVD: choppy full frame, Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo and zero extras.

The Verdict

Guilty. One man chore. Yeah? Huh?

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 50

Perp Profile

Studio: RetroMedia
Video Formats:
• Full Frame
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Subtitles:
• None
Running Time: 86 Minutes
Release Year: 1990
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• Action
• Bad

Distinguishing Marks

• None

Accomplices

• IMDb








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