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Case Number 12725: Small Claims Court

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Pocket Snails: Potty Adventure

Soaring Star Productions // 2007 // 30 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // January 10th, 2008

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All Rise...

Thanks to the Pocket Snails, Judge David Johnson has learned to use the potty. Christmas wishes do come true!

The Charge

Goodbye diapers, goodbye!

The Case

Are you a small child struggling with using the potty for the first time? Is the sense of security that pooping in your pants provides simply too much of a mental obstacle to overcome? You are not alone. There are hundreds if not thousands of children facing similar challenges. Luckily, you do have options. And one of those is Pocket Snails' Potty Adventure. So don't worry yourself—there is hope out there for people like you afflicted with the debilitating condition of Diaper Reliance.

I know what you're thinking. "Dave, I've tried everything but I'm still not potty-trained. What can the Pocket Snails offer me than nothing else has?" Look, it's hard to move beyond diapers. But life is about moving on. Remember the first days without your binky? Remember how hard those were? True, getting off of diapers is much different and much harder than shaking the binky, but the principles are the same: commitment, willpower and routine. These are the states of mind that the Pocket Snails enforce and I have no doubt whatsoever that if you abide by the Potty Adventure program, you will free yourself from the lure of diapers and embrace the freedom that going wee-wee in the potty will grant you.

The Potty Adventure plan is presented simply. The Pocket Snails, Gordon, Dale and Buttons, will escort you through their proven nine-step program—the "Potty Steps Map"—ensuring that you are utterly familiar with all aspects of the curriculum. Success will follow shortly, guaranteed.

I know what you're thinking now, too. "But Dave, I have trouble even counting to nine! How am I supposed to memorize nine steps?!" A valid point, and something that the Potty Snails have considered. To aid in memorizing the Potty Steps Map, a song-based approach has been implemented, complete with accompanying animation of the process, step-by-step. The idea is you will be able put the steps to memory easier through the use of song and playful presentation.

The Snails also use the proven method of repetition for communicating these principles. The 30 minutes of the DVD affords plenty of time to repeat the steps of the Potty Map throughout and the final segment is a multiple choice quiz that has been devised to further cement the Map in your subconscious.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. "Dave, I have no idea what 'subconscious' means! I'm little!" Another fair observation. "Subconscious" is simply the place in your head where the Devil tells you to poop your pants. You don't want the Devil in your head, do you? Of course not! So don't listen to him. He is the Prince of Darkness and the Lord of the Netherworld, the Fallen Star that wishes to tempt you and ensnare your soul in a vise-grip of darkness and self-immolation. Resist him, force him from your head and let the Pocket Snails enter instead. Engage in a personal relationship with the Pocket Snails and allow their power and wisdom to guide your ways. Only they hold the key to a life without guilt, pain and pantsloads. In your darkest hour, when you are tempted to turn away from the potty and make doody in your undies, turn to the Pocket Snails, appeal to their grace and consult with the written word, the Potty Steps Map and you will be redeemed!

Please take a moment to read some of these testimonials about the Power of the Pocket Snail:

"For nearly three years I struggled with making Number Two in my pants. And then I found the Pocket Snails and my life changed. These days I use the grown-up potty!"
—Ricky, age 3

"While all of my friends were using the potty, I was still trapped in the unending cycle of Diaper Reliance. Depression set in. But one day a friend introduced me to the Pocket Snails. It wasn't long before I said 'Goodbye Diapers!' Thank you Pocket Snails!"
—Sally, age 4

"My dependency on diapers steered me into a lifestyle of anger and despair. There would be days when I would lash out at my friends and family, often in violence. I was a slave to diapers. But after following the Pocket Snails program, I shed my addiction. Some days I use the potty, 10, 11, even 12 times."
—Gus, age 3.5

The Power of the Pocket Snails is a free gift. All you have to do is accept it, and allow the Pocket Snails to indwell in your heart and mind and ask your mommy or daddy to buy this DVD. Not only do you get the revolutionary potty-training program, but also:

• A full-color Potty Steps Map inset, suitable for framing!

• Bonus encouragement and congratulations scenes from the Pocket Snails themselves!

• A collection of sing-along songs, including the smash hits "Goodbye Diapers" and "Hello Potty!"

• Fully-detailed information on the Pocket Snails themselves!

• A hilarious blooper reel that's both hilarious and hilarious!

What are you waiting for? The end of the world? The sky to turn as black as sackcloth? The blaring of trumpets and the fearsome return of the Pocket Snails to the Earth to judge those that have learned to use the potty and those that have denied it? No one knows the day or the hour when the Pocket Snails will descend upon the land and bring with them porcelain bowls of wrath so mighty that all will quiver before them! If you still poop your pants, don't waste a minute more.

Feel the Power of the Pocket Snails!

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 85

Perp Profile

Studio: Soaring Star Productions
Video Formats:
• Full Frame
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Subtitles:
• None
Running Time: 30 Minutes
Release Year: 2007
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• All Ages
• Animation
• Instructional

Distinguishing Marks

• Potty Steps Map
• Bonus Scenes
• Bloopers
• Characters and Company Info
• Sing-Along
• Music Player

Accomplices

• Official Site








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