All Rise...

Judge David Johnson rides a Zord named Kevin. They're best friends.

The Charge

Aaauuuggggghhhhhhh! (explosion)

The Case

The story so far: Two alien a-hole brothers, Flurious and Moltor, have dispatched their legions of flunkies and monsters to scour the planet for the lost jewels of the Corona Aurora, a magical crown that grants its owner near limitless power. To stop their evil plans, billionaire Andrew Hartford (Rod Lousich) recruits five hot-shot kids (including his son, Mack) and makes them the new Power Ranger force. Arming them with guns and swords and shovel hands and Tonka trucks he sends them out against the forces of Flurious and Moltor in a race to retrieve the jewels and save the universe.

Along the way there are lots of important life lessons to learn, but more importantly, there are huge explosions to trigger with incalculable collateral damage and human suffering.

Volume Two launches with six episodes, picking up where Volume 1 left off:

• "At All Costs"
The Yellow Ranger wants to win—bad. Her competitiveness starts to irk her fellow Rangers and when the squad is tasked with retrieving a super-powerful dragon scale, her megalomania propels her away from her team to be the first to get the scale. Can she come to her senses in time to punch guys in plastic costumes in the face?

Valuable Life Lesson Learned: Competition is fine and all, but if you get carried away your friends will rather have their teeth pulled than spend time with you.

• "Both Sides Now"
What's this? The Black Ranger has been fired?!? Andrew Hartford, apparently disgusted with the Black Ranger's latest antics has canned him, forcing the disgraced Ranger to work with the forces of evil, including diabolical temptress Miratrix. But is there more to this than meets the eye?

Valuable Life Lesson Learned: Don't be quick to judge your traitorous jackass of a former teammate before getting all your information straight.

• "Follow the Ranger"
When Mack and his father run into some father-son communication problems, it places the integrity of the team at risk. Mack still feels his dad doesn't have enough confidence in his abilities, despite all the preceding adventures and Mack's ability to successfully pilot toys.

Valuable Life Lesson Learned: Communication is the most important part of a relationship.

• "Lights, Camera, DAX"
DAX, the Blue Ranger, hears the siren call of fame and fortune calling when he signs up for the leading role in a Hollywood blockbuster. But his determination to make it big in the movies distracts from his duty as a Power Ranger. Perhaps he'll come through in the clutch?

Valuable Life Lesson Learned: Are the women, money and adoration worth trading for form-fitting spandex and constantly somersaulting in front of big-ass explosions?

• "Face to Face, Parts 1 and 2"
The Rangers have discovered an ancient parchment that holds the secret to finding the second jewel of the Corona Aurora. They will, of course, have to battle through the hordes of Flurious and Moltor before completing the mission. However, the Rangers will find help in an unexpected place, when a defector from Moltor's ranks joins them in their quest, and Mack finds a cool new friend to add to his Facebook page.

Valuable Life Lesson Learned: Don't judge a book by its cover! And by "book" we mean "a bad guy that serves the forces of evil" and by "cover" we mean "gross, synthetic Toys 'R Us exoskeleton."

Bottom line: More of the same Power Rangers mayhem anyone familiar with the series has come to expect. The play-by-play remains the same just with new folks filling out the spandex. Personally, I'd rather subject my kids to Sesame Street or even—gasp!—Dora the f—--—Explorer than having them soak up all the faux martial artistry and sword-swinging this series has traditionally offered its audiences. But hey, whatever, at least there are some moral lessons to take away, not the least of which is run away from grown men in Halloween costumes holding hammers.

The disc: full frame, 2.0 stereo, average presentations both, supplemented by previews, a featurette on the Rangers arsenal (a.k.a. Holiday Buying Guide for Pushover Parents!) and the return of the irksome multiple choice game.

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