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Case Number 26189: Small Claims Court

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Rushlights

Vertical Entertainment // 2013 // 96 Minutes // Rated R
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // September 1st, 2013

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All Rise...

Judge David Johnson doesn't know what a rushlight is, but is sounds delicious!

The Charge

All is fair in love and murder.

The Case

A young couple in love looks to combine their smoldering good looks and animal lust for each other with the desire to score the perfect crime in a tiny jerkwater town, thus ensuring the greatest orgasms in the history of human biology. Billy (Josh Henderson) and Sarah (Haley Webb) are the aforementioned duo and their machinations bring them into the crosshairs of the hard-ass small-town sheriff (Beau Bridges, The Descendants). Aidan Quinn is in this too, playing a lawyer. Some other stuff happens and, forgive me, but I'm having a hard time summoning what especially stood out for me in Rushlights.

I wrote that first paragraph last night. I got stuck after it. Worse, it was the easiest part of the review, the synopsis. But I need to get this thing in and uploaded so it's nose to the grindstone time: what unique critical approach can I bring to the community that has viewed and digested Rughlights?

Okay, I'm back from a two-hour break of painting the bathroom. What was I talking about?

Right. My unique critical approach to Rushlights.

Fine. You got me. I wasn't painting the bathroom (at least not in the way you think). I'm just delaying the inevitable, when I have to commit to an opinion about a movie that did absolutely nothing for me. Like, nothing. Zero. Zilch-a-roni.

Rushlights is one of those movies. You know the type of flick that isn't good enough to bring anything new and exciting to the game and not bad enough to lambaste with pleasure and snarky cynicism. This is straight-up-the-middle stuff, a film languishing in the vortex of nondescript mediocrity, destined to be forgotten. It's a tough fate for a production that doesn't suck. But Rushlights evokes nothing from me. Not anything resembling a spark of emotion; I felt like Dexter Morgan while watching.

The acting is fine and Quinn and Bridges punch the clock. Our two young leads deliver the smoldering glances with gusto, but everyone's undercut by the pacing. It's glacial and turns the final third of Rushlights into a slog. That, combined with the small fact I was utterly bored from the get-go anyway…yeah, pass on this one.

The DVD: 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, 5.1 Dolby Digital and no extras.

The Verdict

Nah.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 60

Perp Profile

Studio: Vertical Entertainment
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)
Subtitles:
• English (CC)
Running Time: 96 Minutes
Release Year: 2013
MPAA Rating: Rated R
Genres:
• Crime
• Romance
• Thriller

Distinguishing Marks

• None

Accomplices

• IMDb








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