The Case
Ah, the '80s…The decade of deregulation had just as much of an impact
on Saturday morning television as any other aspect of Reaganomics. For you see,
producers and animation houses were now free to cut deals and create shows whose
sole purpose was to sell toys, cereal, video games, and any other merchandise
the marketing and product development teams could dream up. Still, amidst the
hocking of Care Bears, Gobots, and My Little Pony, there were more than a
handful of series which resonated not only with their intended audiences (6-12
year olds) but high school and college kids as well. Thankfully, Warner Bros.
has included a couple of them with this set—Saturday Morning Cartoons:
1980s, Volume 1.
"Night of the Crystal Skull" (20 min)—Goldie Gold and
Action Jack (13 episodes, 1981)
What a mess. This is basically Barbie
and Ken do Hart to Hart. Goldie (Judi Strangis—Dyna Girl from
Electra Woman and Dyna Girl), the world's richest girl, who alongside her
dimwitted-adventure-seeking boyfriend/employee Jack (Sonny
Melendrez—Pippin from Rankin/Bass' The Return of the King) and
faithful dog Nugget, traipse around the world saving us all from dangerous
criminals with devious plans. When the maniacal Crystal Skull and his Inca
warriors kidnap noted satellite designer Thomas Harker and two NASA astronauts,
our dynamic trio spring into action. Over the course of the series premiere, she
flies a helicopter through her palatial home, destroys her flying Rolls Royce,
charters her company's 747 with Olympic sized swimming pool to Peru, hang-glides
off the ruins of Machu Picchu, chases down the Skull's rocket with her unarmed
personal space shuttle, and retreats to the supposed safety of her satellite
mansion where she and her friends take down Skull and his goons. This thing may
just be more entertaining than Indiana
Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
"Deadly Dolphin" (22 min)—Chuck Norris: Karate
Kommandos (5 episodes, 1986)
Technically not a Saturday morning
network series, this syndicated miniseries finds legendary action hero Chuck
Norris and his team fighting crime and kicking ass. In the premiere, Claw and
his evil henchmen Angelfish and Super Ninja attempt to kidnap Dr. Sanford for
control of his Sea Lab and its unique ability to communicate with and control
dolphins. So it's up to Chuck, Pepper (Kathy Garver, Family Affair), Reed (Sam Fontana),
Tabe the Sumo Champion (Robert Ito, Rollerball), Kimo the Samurai
Warrior (Rodney Kageyama, Gung Ho), and
Too-Much (Mona Marshall) to save the professor and the world! Complete with
live-action intro and wrapup by Chuck himself—"He's got nerves of
steel and strength to match!" Oy, was this bad. A five episode order was
more than generous.
"Tall, Dark & Hansom" (22 min)—The Completely Mental
Misadventures of Ed Grimley (13 episodes, 1988)
The SCTV
gang—Joe Flaherty, Catherine O'Hara, Andrea Martin, Dave Thomas, Eugene
Levy—backs up Martin Short in this short-lived but rauckus comedic
adventure. In the series premiere, Ed fills in for his cousin as horse carriage
driver, with very little success. In the interim, The Gustav Brothers (Short and
Jonathan Winters) provide kids with relevant entertaining science lessons (think
Schoolhouse Rock minus the catchy tunes, crossbred with Mythbusters), and a live-action Count
Floyd (Flaherty) hosts a disastrous kids show. Good writing + great execution =
a forgotten Saturday morning masterpiece.
"The Bad News Brontos (23 min) / Invasion of the Mommy Snatchers (8
min) / Dreamchip's Cur Wash (3 min) / Princess Wilma (12 min)"
—The Flintstone Kids (76 episodes, 1986-88)
The original
cast returns to voice the parents of their 8-year-old selves, as Freddie,
Barney, Wilma, Betty, and friends take on a rival neighborhood gang in a series
of easily identifiable misadventures (baseball games, who's the prettiest girl,
yabba yabba yabba). In a Charlie Brown move, Freddie has a dino-pup named Dino,
which we're lead to believe is the same Dino we know and love. Pitiful. What's
worse is they've taken a page from Fat
Albert by having the kids be rabid fans of the television series Captain
Caveman and Son, thus bastardizing another classic Hanna-Barbera '70s
cartoon. Painful. The fourth and final segment of this hour-long block of
misguided mess is subtitled Dino's Dilemma, in which Dino is the victim
of all sorts of unwelcome trouble. Weak.
"Mystery of the Golden Medallions" (24 min)—Mister T
(30 episodes, 1983-85)
Leveraging his film and television popularity,
Chicago's own Lawrence "Mr. T" Tureaud invaded Saturday mornings as
the coach of a traveling gymnastics team that fights crime as "The T
Force" during their downtime. Created by Joe Ruby and Ken Spears, the
series racked up a respectable three season run on NBC, gave Phil Lamarr his
first voice-over gig, and lives on in the hearts and minds of many
30-somethings. Me? Couldn't tolerate it then, and it's even more ridiculous now.
A dog with a mohawk. A team of kids each with their own special
detective/crime-fighting talents. An annoying little white kid who emulates Mr.
T. And an older white lady who drives their bus; sort of Driving Miss Daisy in reverse. In
the series premiere, stumbling upon a couple of bad guys doing bad things, Spike
is kidnapped and the gang must mount a search and rescue. Call the police? Nah,
this is nothing Mr. T and his team can't handle on their own. Turns out it's all
about video game espionage.
"As the Worm Turns (11 min) / Trouble in the Tunnel (11
min)"—The Biskitts (13 episodes, 1983)
A CBS knockoff of
The Smurfs, substituting
miniature puppies for the little blue heroes, a raggedy King (Kenny Mars, Young Frankenstein) for Gargamel, and a
court jester (Kip King, father of SNL's Chris Kattan), two dogs, and a cat for
Azrael. Only lasted one season of 13 episodes. In the first of two 11-minute
adventures, the pups rescue a catepillar from drowning in the bog and bring him
home. Unfortunately, the voracious little insect eats them out of house and
home, so they're forced to return him to the swamp. But when the Biskitts are
trapped by King Max, their old friend comes to the rescue and is rewarded by
turning into a beautiful butterfly. A beautiful day goes horribly wrong, when
Biskitt island is invaded by a mole who destroys crops, steals treasure, and
makes life miserable for the pups when he leads King Max right to the Biskitts.
Familiar voices include Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime from Transformers), Henry Gibson (The 'Burbs), and Frank Welker (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!).
"Tickle Pickle" (22 min)—Monchhichis (13 episodes,
1983)
This redubbed Japanese import mercifully lasted only one season on
ABC. Nothing like 30-minutes of animated thumb-sucking monkey toys.
"Monchhichi means happiness!" Something must have been lost in the
translation, because this show is migraine-inducing. Moncho (Robert Morse, Mad Men), Kyla (Laurel Page, The
Littles), and friends continuously run afoul of the spiteful Grumplins in
message-heavy tales, like the attempted destruction of The Happy Works. All's
well that end's well, and we only have to suffer through one episode. I suppose
we should be thankful WHV did not include the live-action Menudo bumpers that
framed this season's ABC lineup.
"Galtar and the Princess" (22 min)—Galtar and the Golden
Lance (21 episodes, 1985-86)
I have absolutely no recollection of this
series whatsoever. In all honesty, it plays like a Hanna-Barbera take on He-Man
and She-Ra meets Conan the Barbarian
with a mythology more complex than Tolkein's Middle Earth. Tormack and his evil
army wreak havoc on an unsuspecting populace, thus demanding the vengeance of
the mighty Galtar and the beautiful princess Goleeta, but only after they
possess the power of the legendary Golden Lance. Nobody cared and it didn't
last.
"Tale of the Enchanted Gift"—Dragon's Lair (13
episodes, 1984)
The mid-'80s were a breeding ground for video game
adaptations and this was a doozy! I'll cop to sinking more than a few months
allowance into this Don Bluth animated game, the first of its kind. Considering
this was pre-internet, we had to rely on friends experience to guide us through
the maze of moves, enabling Dirk the Daring to slay the dragon and rescue
Princess Daphne. Addictive doesn't even begin to describe the experience, and
Ruby-Spears did an admirable job recapturing it for televised consumption,
complete with multiple options for Dirk to face at each commercial break. The
only downside was somewhat repetitive writing and more crude animation. In the
series premiere, Dirk (Bob Sarlatte) and his serf Timothy (Michael Mish) embark
on a quest to find Daphne (Ellen Gerstell) the perfect birthday present, but
Singe the dragon (Arthur Burghardt—Destro from G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero) has other plans
in store for our heroes.
"Secret of the Black Pearl"—Thundarr the Barbarian
(21 episodes, 1980-82)
This may well be the crowning jewel of Saturday
morning television. From the pen of Marvel Comics' writer Steve Gerber came a
series ahead of its time, in the hands of a network too quick to pull the plug
when parents complained of its violent content. The perfect blend of
post-apocayptic sci-fi and Jack Kirby/Frank Frazetta-inspired production design,
Thundarr leapt off the screen, setting ratings records, and developing a
cult following on college campuses. With this series, Joe Ruby and Ken Spears
secured their place in animation history as the next Hanna-Barbera, and gave us
many great memories in the process. In a distant future, Earth suffers a
horrific astrological disaster, returning civilization to its barbaric roots,
grounded in a battle between science and magic. In the series premiere,
Thundarr, Ookla, and Ariel travel to the ruins of Manhat with the ominous Black
Pearl, whose secret powers pose a threat to the dark wizard Gemini. Strip away
the nostalgia and what remains is a great series that's just as enjoyable today
as it was 30 years ago. Are you listening Warner Home Video? Thundarr
deserves a complete series DVD release. Side note: Look for The Legion of Doom's
headquarters on the outer property of Gemini's lair.
"Dry Run (1 min) / Robinson Caruso (6 min) / High Roller (1 min) / The
Claws Conspiracy (6 min) / Hat Dance (1 min) / Dirty's Debut (6 min)"
—The Kwicky Koala Show (16 episodes, 1981)
Known as the
last project by animation legend Tex Avery, Kwicky Koala is a throwback
to the Hanna-Barbera anthology formula of the 1960s. Four short tales featuring
Kwicky Koala, The Bungle Brothers, Crazy Claws, and Dirty Dawg make up its 30
minute run time. Kwicky is a descendant of MGM's Droopy, whose nemesis Wilford
Wolf (John Stephensen doing his best Paul Lynde impersonation) is a modern spin
on Laff-A-Lympics reporter Mildew Wolf. It's really no different than
every Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote we've ever seen. The Bungle Brothers are
brief, one-joke bumpers that run between longer segments and borrow heavily from
Steinbeck's George and Lenny (Of Mice and Men) dipped in Abbott and
Costello. Crazy Claws borrows heavily Bugs Bunny, Yosemite Sam, and Quick
Draw McGraw, with little or no originality of its own. And Dirty Dawg is
a Yogi Bear update whose central characters—Dirty and Ratso—are
homeless vagrants snatching food whenever the opportunity presents itself. Their
nemesis is a city police officer instead of a park ranger. Same thing with lousy
animation and fewer laughs.
Presented in their original full frame format, these 11 cartoons are in
surprisingly decent shape. Yes, there are examples of dirt, grain, and
scratches, but the colors have held up well. The weakest is Monchhichis,
which is not surprising since it's one step removed from the original Japanese
anime. The audio is a perfectly adequate 2.0 mono mix. You'll have to play a bit
with the volume level between shows, but it's not that big of an inconvenience.
The one thing this set is missing is the overarching introduction found on the
four previous 1960s and 1970s releases. However, the one bonus feature does
somewhat exonerate that oversight.
Lords of Light! Thundarr the Barbarian (19 min)
A great look
back at this classic 'toon from co-creators Joe Ruby & Ken Spears, industry
professionals, and animation historians. What's more, it validates my own
feelings for the show, and those of many longtime fans.
