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Case Number 14661: Small Claims CourtSavage Weekend
MVD Visual // 1981 // 80 Minutes // Not Rated Judge David Johnson had a savage weekend two months ago. There were wild animals and bayonets involved. The ChargeHe's a real weekend warrior. The CaseLet's take a look at this dorky proto-slasher movie using the words of the synopsis found on the back of the disc case. (FYI, to you young up and coming professional writers, this tactic is called "Lazy Writing" in the business.) Several couples head to upstate New York to watch a boat being constructed. Yes, that is an accurate summation of the plot. A group of middle-aged couples—and a flamboyantly homosexual man who weirds out the rednecks then proceeds to beat the @#$% out of them in a pool hall for some reason—take a trip to the backwoods of the Empire State to literally watch a boat being constructed. This is, I would guess, equivalent to watching paint dry and that kind of excitement awaits for at least forty minutes or so, until -- They are soon stalked by a murderer behind a ghoulish mask. That's true. Some guy puts on a ghoulish mask and starts stalking them. Furthermore, the mask is ghoulish. This amazing film combines a mixture of sex and shocking violence. Let's just ignore that "amazing" thing and move on. If you're angling for some sleaze, look elsewhere. Savage Weekend is nudity-free, and the rare instance of boots-knocking is brief and restrained, which is a blessing considering the amount of makeup and the hairstyles sported by the women and the unsavory combination of body hair and portliness on the guys. As for the violence: Incredibly lame. A strangulation, a knitting needle stabbing, and an off-screen bludgeoning with a chainsaw. Filmed in 1976 but not released until 1981, this is one of the first slasher movies ever produced and is just as shocking today as when it was first screened. Unless the audience members that attended the screening in 1981 were draped in bare electrical wires, I can't imagine anyone getting shocked by this boring, tepid mess. And if a five year layover between the film being completed and released doesn't tell you enough about the entertainment value of Savage Weekend there's nothing I can write that will. The DVD: A full frame hatchet job that doesn't look much better than a VHS copy and a shallow 2.0 stereo mix are joined by some text-only cast filmographies. Similar Decisions
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