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Case Number 14407: Small Claims Court

Buy Schoolgirl Report 4: What Drives Parents To Despair at Amazon

Schoolgirl Report 4: What Drives Parents To Despair

Impulse Pictures // 1972 // 87 Minutes // Rated X
Reviewed by Judge Christopher Kulik (Retired) // August 29th, 2008

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All Rise...

Judge Christopher Kulik found this Report better than the last, if only for the return of a certain Swedish maid.

Editor's Note

Our reviews of Schoolgirl Report 3: What Parents Find Unthinkable (published March 7th, 2008), Schoolgirl Report 1: What Parents Don't Think Is Possible (published April 12th, 2007), Schoolgirl Report 2: What Keeps Parents Awake At Night (published September 21st, 2007), and Schoolgirl Report 3: What Parents Find Unthinkable (International Edition) (published August 29th, 2008) are also available.

The Charge

Reporter Günter Hunold: Well, ladies and gentleman, here we are again. You'll remember us if you're among the 30 million people who saw our first three Schoolgirl Reports in 28 countries and turned them into a global blockbuster. Still, no film has ever been more attacked than ours, but almost everything you saw was from authentic sources. Life writes the most interesting scripts."

Hey Günter, don't bullshit a bullshitter!

The Case

If you have seen the other films in the Schoolgirl Report series, then you should already know the drill. So-called public service messages combined with sweaty soft-core sex scenes, with more dirty old men gettin' it on with trim, nubile young cuties. Despite its self-proclaimed worthy intentions, Schoolgirl Report 4 continues to embrace sexism and pedophilia in largely offensive ways. This Report decides to go even further by showcasing a relationship between a black girl and a white boy, and the eventual outcry (and even torture) by a bunch of white girls who go to the same school with them.

Personally, I'm just dumbfounded as to how these series of films became smash hits with audiences around the world. Sure, there are a bunch of sexy teenage kittens disrobed, and yet they are also literally manhandled and sexually controlled by a bunch of nasty German chaps, some of whom even look like they're in their 60s. Like the third Report, there is just a putrid reek of contempt the filmmakers seem to have for both their subjects as well as the target audience. The dedicated will surely won't mind, however, and they are welcome to this.

Admittedly, I didn't hate this Report as much as the third one. For one thing, all those interviews with anonymous parents are dropped, with Hunold now doing a brief commentary at the end of each segment. He mostly says moronic things like, "you read this in the paper every week," "there is much to learn here," and "every schoolgirl has a story." Once again, there is a prologue and epilogue, with Kurt Seelmann (again) doing the latter. And, once again, these guys use "statistics and research" to make their film legitimate as documentary rather than shallow pornography. However, their attitude is not as bombastic or serious as in the previous entries.

Plus, this one actually ups the humor quotient quite a bit. There are several lines which must be heard to be believed, such as "with your math skills, you wouldn't even sell hotdogs." It was simply too difficult not to laugh at such ridiculous moments as when a doctor takes a schoolgirl from behind and she asks, "Is that your thermometer?"

The best sequence in this Report features the celebrated Christina Lindberg, who is best known for Thriller: A Cruel Picture and her centerfold work in the early 70s. Here, she plays a 16-year-old schoolgirl who discovers personal pleasure for the first time while she watches her brother have sex with an older woman; in many ways, this is the same role she had in her breakout U.S. hit, Maid In Sweden. What's different is that she then decides to see if incest is best by—gulp—seducing her brother in a state of jealousy. Her nude scenes are surely highlights, but the vignette is like all the others in that there's not really much of a point other than to showcase nudity.

Impulse brings this the fourth entry to DVD with surprisingly good results. The 1.66:1 anamorphic print is decidedly more cleaned up this time, though it still has its fair share of scratches, specks, and white spots. Once more we have a DD 2.0 Stereo track in German, along with English subtitles which take up most of the print's bottom half. Again, no extras.

While Lindberg is free to go, this film is found guilty of attempting to be more profound than it really is. Court is adjourned.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 44

Perp Profile

Studio: Impulse Pictures
Video Formats:
• 1.66:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (German)
Subtitles:
• English
Running Time: 87 Minutes
Release Year: 1972
MPAA Rating: Rated X
Genres:
• Bad
• Erotic
• Exploitation
• Foreign

Distinguishing Marks

• None

Accomplices

• IMDb








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