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Case Number 07979: Small Claims Court

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Self: Your Best Butt Fast

Koch Vision // 2005 // 45 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // November 5th, 2005

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All Rise...

How many euphemisms for "backside" can Judge David Johnson weave into the review? Read on and find out!

The Charge

Baby got back.

The Case

SELF Magazine presents another installment in its DVD fitness series. This one is all about the butts (you other brothers can't deny). The workout regimen is tailored toward women looking to take a little junk out of the trunk, as well as trimming and toning the rest of the body.

Your guru for this disc is Violet Zaki, overall perfectly toned specimen of the female species, and a certified instructor (would any studio really employ an instructor that isn't certified? "Hi, my name is Glenda Wilkerson and I have no clue what I'm doing! First exercise: pick up these giant rocks without bending your knees!").

These SELF DVDs are very well-done. Prior to the exercise, the instructor talks about what she hopes to accomplish with your lazy ass, as well as offer tips and advice and the occasional warning.

The workout takes place on a beach, which is soothing and all, with Zaki doing her thing with a few flunkies. Exercises range from easygoing to intensive, and are pretty much rear end-oriented. The only accessories required are some lightweight dumbbells and a mat (the beach is optional).

Another solid feature with these DVDs is the bang-for-your-buck element. The feature workout is lengthy in itself, but as a bonus feature, you'll also get a 15 minute "firm abs" routine. That's sixty minutes of working the caboose and the breadbasket. Not too shabby.

The technical readouts are par for the course: a clean full frame video and a Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo audio mix.

Judge David Johnson's Personal Pain Rating
Four out of 10 George Michael-like jeans to show off by kickin' posterior.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 90

Perp Profile

Studio: Koch Vision
Video Formats:
• Full Frame
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
• None
Running Time: 45 Minutes
Release Year: 2005
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
• Instructional

Distinguishing Marks

• Bonus Abs Workout
• Online Links


• Self Magazine

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