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Case Number 23023: Small Claims Court

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Sexy Rangers

Cinema Epoch // 2008 // 61 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge William Lee (Retired) // December 28th, 2011

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All Rise...

Judge William Lee is known to be cheap and unsexy.

The Charge

"The two swellings on my chest are love fruits that defeat evil."

The Case

Cinema Epoch imports an extended episode of the Japanese parody series Bakunyu Sentai Pairanger to North America as the Sexy Rangers. The Super Sentai Series is a popular genre of kids entertainment featuring young heroes teaming up to fight an alien force. The heroes engage in martial arts combat with costumed monsters and together they often pilot a giant robot. The most popular incarnation of this genre for American audiences was the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

In a T&A twist on the formula, five teenage girls are assembled as "Big Boob Squad: Sexy Rangers" to defend mankind against the Muscle King and Queen Amorous (Yoko Yamada). The girls (called "Pai Rangers") store up "Pai energy," which is generated when guys stare at their breasts. Pai energy fuels their fighting powers and the giant robot that's called in when they need mech power. The squad's leader, Pai Red/Momiji (Yuu Tejima), is a bikini model idol by day and she's well equipped to collect the most Pai energy.

Other DVD review sites that lazily copy the plot summary from the back of the box will incorrectly report that the story involves the squad leader being kidnapped. At DVD Verdict, we actually watch the movie and can tell you what the real story is, as meager as it may be.

This one-hour episode introduces the Sexy Rangers and their skimpy personalities. There is some tension between Pai Red and Pai Blue/Aoi (Yuzuki Aikawa) over who should be the rightful leader. Blue is a better fighter but Red has bigger boobs. In a running gag, Pai Pink/Momo (Marie Sukegawa) is always changing part-time jobs so she appears in various uniforms (each looking like a cosplay outfit). Pai Green is the brainy one and Pai Yellow likes to eat.

To understand what Pai energy is all about, Queen Amorous sends two monsters to challenge the Sexy Rangers. The first is a unicorn in a suit of armor. The second monster has a camera for its head. After failing to defeat the rangers, the Muscle Kingdom's thugs kidnap shy Rika Saimonji (Mayu Ooya), Momiji's new friend and her only female fan, to discover her latent Pai energy potential.

Sexy Rangers runs only an hour, which is about 40 minutes past my patience for this one-trick gimmick. It probably goes without saying that the villains aren't much of a threat. The bosses are dressed in absurdly awkward costumes and the usual throng of faceless karate chop fodder accompanies them. The show isn't helped by the lifeless direction that plods through the dull, generic script. The pacing leaves too much time to consider the silly costumes and the cheap production design. Aside from the monsters' rubber suits, everything else looks like it came off the shelf of a costume or toy store. The rangers' headquarters consists of a couch in an undecorated room that could be anyone's apartment. The battles with the monsters take place in empty grassy fields or deserted parking lots. The inside of the rangers' mech shows some art direction effort, and the giant robot fights exhibit some production value in the scale model cityscapes, but they still look very cheaply made.

The major failure of Sexy Rangers is that it doesn't live up to its title. What passes for sexual innuendo is painfully dumb: the girls power up by lifting their boobs in their hands; special effects draw two circles in the outline of breasts. Perhaps the show's failure as a sexy comedy is more fundamental though. The actresses look young—they're portraying teenagers—so it doesn't feel right leering at them. Thankfully, they don't have costumes any more revealing than their bikinis. The ranger uniforms are not sexy and when the girls wear those costumes whatever thin personalities they've given their characters is masked.

Presented in standard definition 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, the image is clean and sharp, but that just highlights how cheap the production looks. Skin tones are natural and colors are bright. The Dolby 2.0 stereo mix is lively during action scenes and when directional effects are used. A still photos slideshow is the only extra included.

For whom is this show intended? If there are any serious fans of the genre, Sexy Rangers does nothing new with the formula and has nothing witty to say if it's intended as a parody. This show is absolutely not suitable for kids, that is unless you want to encourage boys to be pathetic drooling horn dogs and teach girls that their empowerment lies in having big boobs. Viewers looking for a sexy comedy will be surely disappointed, as there's nothing sexy or funny to see here.

The Verdict

Guilty of being cheap and unsexy.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 50

Perp Profile

Studio: Cinema Epoch
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (Japanese)
Subtitles:
• English
Running Time: 61 Minutes
Release Year: 2008
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• Bad
• Comedy
• Foreign
• Science Fiction
• Superheroes

Distinguishing Marks

• Photo Gallery

Accomplices

• None








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