The birthing scene in this film disturbed Judge David Johnson only slightly more than that "Miracle of Life" wackiness from ninth grade biology class.
If I were a bloodthirsty zombie, I suppose I'd head for the nearest women's prison as well.
Tony Todd, the dude from Candyman stars as Shadow, a supernaturally evil criminal who comes back to life and menaces a pile of half-naked female prisoners with his zombie friends.
Facts of the Case
When Solitaire (Carla Greene) walks into the rehabilitation women's prison, she knows not what awaits her. Choosing to keep to herself, and living up to her name, she tries to make it through the daily shower-times as unscathed as possible. Too bad, Mondo, the big kahuna in gen pop is protective of her turf. She sees Solitaire as a threat, and continually tries to mess with her, despite Solitaire's mad skills with the kung fu.
The beatdowns catch the attention of the warden and her pissy chief guard, and Solitaire is often sent to solitary confinement to cool her heels. But clashes with fellow inmates and the occasional slap across her face will prove to be the least of Solitaire's worries. She senses a big bad evil stirring within the prison, and fears that whatever it is may be coming back to do some serious damage.
Here instincts serve her well. The prison is indeed cursed. Years ago, an evil hombre named Shadow was about to be executed, when he started working some Hellish mojo. Whatever he had going on, it affected the prisoners, who immediately flipped out and started rioting. The guards were forced to shotgun them all to death and toss the bodies into a mass grave (is that consistent with state regs?).
Now, two decades later, Shadow is poised to return, and bring with him an army of undead prisoners to terrorize the current occupants. But for Solitaire, there is an even more sinister link and she will find herself the personal mission of Shadow himself. It will take all of her martial arts prowess, as well as some hideous special effects, to take down the zombie horde.
Here's what Shadow: Dead Riot is: a really crappy, tongue-in-cheek zombie splatterfest women-in-prison film with some stilted martial arts sequences jammed in there too. If that description doesn't murder your brain cells, I'll wager you won't be terribly disappointed by what's here.
Let's unpack this flick, and see how it measures up with our desired excesses, shall we?
"stilted martial arts sequences"
Shadow: Dead Riot enjoys a 1.77:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer with some weird color saturation. Colors alternated between super-bright and washed-out, especially with respect to skin tones. But that blood sure was red! A quiet 5.1 surround mix is outshined by a louder 2.0 stereo track. A decent 16 minute behind-the-scenes feature joins a photo gallery and some trailers in the extras department.
This movie is ridiculous and corny, but soaked in fluid and goofy, over-the-top gore sequences. Is it worth tracking down? Maybe. I think it can provide a night of fun for the right audience (read: teenage boys suffering from the effects of lead paint).
The movie sucks, but the court is willing to look the other way on account of that crazy baby.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Media Blasters
• Making-of Feature
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