Hey, it's the Rock People! Judge David Johnson had a Rock People toy when he was younger. It wasn't as fun as advertised.
Note: The following is a deleted special feature from the six-disc collection of She-Ra: Princess of Power: Volume 2. These sets are very generally well done and the extra features are a highlight of the love and detail that goes into these releases. The bonus materials on this set—a 25-minute documentary called "The Stories of She-Ra, Part 2," which feature interviews with the crew behind the series, a slick storyboard comparison segment, loads of character profiles, trivia and image galleries—are just as impressive as what had been offered in preceding releases. (An audio commentary was listed for "Into the Dark Dimension," but I was unable to find it.) "The Lost Diary of Bow," apparently failed to meet the high standard that Ink and Paint demands of its extras, but we proudly present it to you here, exclusive to DVD Verdict. Enjoy.
The Lost Diary of Bow
It is a cool day out—perfect for battling Hordak and his minions. God, I love being a rebel. It suits my roguish personality so well. And with my might bow at my arm what can stand against us? Nothing! Add to that, She-Ra has provided additional firepower, and her power sword is indeed menacing. For the first time in a long, long time I nurture hope within the cold recesses of my heart.
Well, we just thwarted another scheme by the Horde. Apparently, Hordak felt the threat of our rebellion so he enlisted a woman named Huntara, a renowned warrior, to bring us down. She-Ra and Huntara had an impressive battle and I took my usual support position about three-fourths of a mile away on a hill behind some trees. Does it betray the cause my brother sand sisters bleed for to confess that watching She-Ra and Huntara fight stirred intense heat in my loins?
Another day, another half-assed scheme by Hordak to overtake Etheria. Man, I heard Skeletor over on Eternia was a clown, but the more I witness Hordak and his shortcomings I am persuaded that we have it pretty good over here! Get this, diary: after a meeting with Horde Prime, Hordak realized that it is his master's birthday, so he decides to capture Swiftwind, She-Ra's might steed, to give as a gift. She-Ra kicked Hordak's ass so hard he now wears his loincloth as a mustache.
Diary, sometimes I get the feeling people are laughing at me. I don't like it. Not one bit.
I'm sure of it now. People are definitely belittling me behind my back. I was playing a song on my lute and I swore that that little bastard Kowl and Madam Razz were snickering. And I was in the middle of Sonata 3 in the Key of Flern! I might have to take this to Adora. No one disrespects the Bow-meister.
On second thought, that would be totally lame. I'm going to sleep on it. The last thing I want to do is come across as weak to Adora. Mmmmm, Adora.
Great, as if I weren't feeling bad enough, that jackass Sea Hawk is back in the picture and moving in on my girl. Seriously what does this guy have that I don't? A flying boat? Please. What about that purple neck scarf? Is that supposed to instill fear in the followers of evil?!? So he wiped out Admiral Scurvy—that gives him a license to make out with Adora? My balls it does.
Okay, I thought about a little and realized I shouldn't have made fun of his neck-scarf. The giant heart on my vest and my dainty little cape don't exactly scream machismo, but I still think is flying boat is f—--—dorky.
We had a run-in with some crazy cat-people today. They called themselves the Magicats. And this just after we met those equally crazy rock people who turn into rocks (yeah, that's incredibly useful on the battlefield). Once again I was marvelous with my bow, and celebrated appropriately with some more lute action. Though I can't shake the feeling that people still don't respect me…
I've decided to look for work elsewhere. The rebellion seems to be fine without me. She-Ra does her thing, and when she needs help her friend He-Man from Eternia shows up to bat around a few Horde troopers (and my do the girls love this guy; Perfuma was pretty much ovulating in his presence). Adora thinks nothing of me, just of her precious Sea Hawk. And the rest of the rebels have totally turned against me. So it's time to move on, find some place that can appreciate a master archer, an accomplished lute player and man who knows how to groom a mean mustache.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: BCI Eclipse
• "The Stories of She-Ra, Part 2"
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