Judge Brett Cullum was down with the skinny bitches until they started talking about their poop and pits. Gag me with a spoon!
"No matter how well you eat, you've got to move your ass! You'll look
better, you'll feel better, you'll even poop better!"
An ex-model and an ex-modeling agent who were bestest of friends decided to write a book together called Skinny Bitch, which gave their Los Angeles-inspired stay thin routine to the masses. Somehow the book became a runaway best seller as well as a celebrity fueled diet craze, even though the food plan was highly restrictive, and the advice was sharp tongued. Just within the first pages of the tome you got such witty critiques as "Soda is liquid Satan!" and "You are a total moron if you think the Atkins Diet will make you thin!" Their rallying cry was "If you eat crap then you are crap!" And those would be the nice, toned-down quotes from the book, which never shied away from blasting anybody who ate anything other than what they dictated as "clean and natural." Skinny Bitch was all about the attitude and behind the profanity came a surprising call to adopt a vegan lifestyle. Basically the girls said to skip dairy, eggs, cheese, and meats while embracing fruit, veggies, and whole grains. Even though Posh Spice famously endorsed the diet, it's PETA who should be championing this one. It's no secret adopting a vegan lifestyle will make you thin, because you will be so restricted on what and where you can eat. Now that authors Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin have conquered the world of publishing, here they come with their first DVD workout Skinny Bitch Fitness: Boot Camp.
I find it surprising the two authors actually lead the workouts on the DVD, and they both seem truly sweet despite gratuitous use of the word "bitch" and other coy expletives scattered throughout. The two book gurus are trying to give you more of a "girlfriend experience" rather than "we're fitness experts" with their chatty banter throughout this entire DVD. Nobody's going to mistake them for pros as they stumble and slide through the choreography, but that's part of the charm. The routine found here was developed by physical trainer Patrick Goudeau, and it is surprisingly easy for something labeled "Boot Camp." This is a basic fat burning routine paired up with an ab workout and a cool down. For the truly time challenged the bitches include five five minute workouts which just give you small bursts of exercise which are far too short to be effective, but might make a good way to ease yourself in to an exercise pattern. I can see this being a good routine for beginner or intermediate level people who want a fun workout with a lot of patter from the hosts. The two authors talk way too much, and there is no option to just play the music. I hope you find them charming and not annoying, because that will make or break this disc for most people. These two girls are all about blabbing on and on, and I doubt they kept quiet more than five seconds throughout the whole thing. How hard can a session be when you can still chat up your bitchy friend while doing it?
The DVD presents everything in a straightforward manner. You can choose to do the workout segments separately or all strung together. You have: a five-minute warm-up, the 25-minute boot camp, 10-minute ab routine, five-minute cool down, and the micro five-minute quick-fix workouts. For extras we get interviews with the authors and the personal trainer who developed this routine. As you can imagine, everyone is chatty and a cheeky as they talk about fitness and their private lives. The bitches admit they don't like working out, and made this series for people who need a little extra push. They didn't want to be perfect, and seemed to not worry about obvious mistakes or blatant cue card reading. The goal was simply to have fun carrying on their snarky fitness empire. The bad thing is their brand of eating is hardcore, and the faithful of their book probably already do extreme workouts which would leave this one in the dust. I think I've been in some advanced yoga classes with several devotees of the Skinny Bitch, and these women usually run half marathons without a second thought.
I would recommend this DVD for people who need a light to medium fat burning workout, and for those who won't mind the Paris Hilton language. This is the definitive Southern California girl workout—somewhat easy to do and full of the word "bitch." It's nothing all that tough, but Skinny Bitch Fitness: Boot Camp certainly has the same attitude as its written counterpart. It will make a nice companion to anybody who follows the Skinny Bitch diet but doesn't workout regularly yet. Surprisingly this one is good for beginners and almost all fitness levels except for those who are already in the gym routinely. So the big issue here is this one is not for your traditional Skinny Bitch, but instead aimed at someone who wants to become one. So drop those twinkies, sodas, cigarettes, and get your large ass shaking! And to all you guys out there, look for Skinny Bastard slated for a 2009 release.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Warner Bros.
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