Judge David Johnson prefers supernatural inactivity.
Kill me now.
I don't know what's going on here. At first glance, it looks like Supernatural Activity is poised to pummel its viewers with a half-assed parody experience not unlike the crap that is Date Movie and Meet the Spartans. In fact, the tagline on the DVD cover is "From none of the creators of Scary Movie," which is painful in and of itself but provides some sort of indication of what awaits us inside.
For a stretch, that's the direction Supernatural Activity seemed to be heading. Damon Dealer (screenwriter Andrew Pozza) is the world's hottest illusionist and paranormal investigator who stumbles upon the opportunity of a lifetime, digging up clues about some legendary monster called the Smallsquatch. As he and his crack squad do their research, Damon grapples with a variety of personal issues, which could risk alienating his cohorts and jeopardize a burgeoning relationship with his girlfriend. Theoretically, there are jokes sprinkled throughout this melodrama.
At least that was the setup, a framework to allow multiple spoofing angles on the Paranormal Activity films, the never-ending parade of Ghost Hunters-inspired reality shows, A+E's swarthy illusionist Criss Angel Mindfreak, and even some old targets like The Blair Witch Project. And while there is evidence of pop culture gags (albeit horrendous) here, I wouldn't call Supernatural Activity a comedy.
Even now, I'm still unsure what genre this belongs in. When the jokes do drop, they're written in a spoof/slapstick style (thought not as non-sequitur-heavy as the Friedberg/Seltzer junk), but they're in stark contrast to the film's genuinely dramatic moments. Well, they're attempts at genuine drama anyway. Regardless, the tones set forth are shockingly disparate and don't come close to fitting together. It's almost as if filmmakers Derek Lee Nixon and Andrew Pozza are attempting to cover every genre base imaginable, the result of which is a cinematic schizophrenic mess.
Whatever Supernatural Activity is, you should steer clear. The laughs are entirely absent, the melodrama is weird and nonsensical, and the whole thing wound up being one of the slowest 90-minute experiences of my life. And that includes the time I had a cyst on my back drained.
Not much activity happening with the DVD either: standard def 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, Dolby 5.1 Surround mix, no subtitles, and no extras.
Guilty. Pray no one else ever finds this footage.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Well Go USA
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