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Case Number 26048: Small Claims Court

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Super Storm (Blu-ray)

Anchor Bay // 2011 // 89 Minutes // Rated PG-13
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // August 1st, 2013

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All Rise...

Judge David Johnson is a super sucker.

The Charge

No warning. No escape.

The Case

Time to get back at it: another low-budget Syfy disaster film shot in Canada. What surprises can be cooked up this time? Or, perhaps the question to ask is this: are there any surprises left? In the America where Sharknado captures the imagination of social media-goers everywhere, I suppose the argument could be made that there's a thirst out there for some manner of lunatic disaster movie-making (though the ratings on Sharknado offer a differing view).

Regardless, here we have something that is absolutely not that. Super Storm (also known as Space Twister and Mega Cyclone) is as straightforward and generic as its straightforward and generic title. Forget swirling sharks or even giant boas: the deadly force that threatens life on Earth is a red typhoon that farts out bolts of lightning.

What's causing this super-storm? It has something to do with Jupiter, but I might have gone to get a Sprite when that part came on. What I do know: the storm is ravaging a small hamlet, cutting cars in two with lighting strikes and exploding helpless passersby. A pair of scientists predicts major-league apocalyptic shenanigans if the storms continue to run wild. The key to saving the planet appears to be in the science project of a brilliant teen, so the researchers scramble over to learn more. But there's more lightning and zapping and fast forward a bit and the brilliant kid fires a rocket into the super storm and wins.

The only departure from formula is the age of the protagonists. Though I'm not sure if introducing wise-cracking teenagers will be the jolt this tired genre requires. The kids here start off in detention and the run around, dodging lightning bolts, before working their nerd mojo. Along the way, nothing happens to make their characters anything more interesting than your standard-issue cardboard cutouts for crap like this.

How about the only thing that someone would tune into this for: the method of destruction. The super storm is a wholly unremarkable glob of visual effects and the lightning bolts are even worse. Don't expect much disbelief suspension here.

But who doesn't know this already? The hope is to find something, anything, happening in any of these movies to require two brain neurons to simultaneously function. The search continues.

The Blu-ray: an okay 1.78.1/1080p high-def transfer whose clarity does no favors for the suspect CGI, a 5.1 Dolby TrueHD track and zilch for extras.

The Verdict

This super sucks.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 60

Perp Profile

Studio: Anchor Bay
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Non-Anamorphic (1080p)
Audio Formats:
• TrueHD 5.1 Surround (English)
Subtitles:
• English (SDH)
• Spanish
Running Time: 89 Minutes
Release Year: 2011
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13
Genres:
• Action
• Blu-ray
• Science Fiction
• Television
• Thriller

Distinguishing Marks

• None

Accomplices

• IMDb








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